The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/08/06
This is a very visual and thoughful piece. I struggle with the last line though - if it is elusive and a dream, I don't think a promise follows - perhaps "a hope within reach" or something like that would work better.
Well girl, you've done it again. Inccredible, breathtaking entry. Cuts threw the heart and pierces the soul. Beautiful imagery and I loved the ending. Perfect example of the peace was always there, yet it has to be a personal choice to reach out and choose Him to be fully satisfied.
06/09/06
Brilliant. Loved the symmetry of the verses, the progression of the thought, the word usage - there wasn't anything I didnt love!
Very touching and powerful. Thanks for sharing it.
Very well written and presented. I loved the sequencial application of peace to this individual living on the streets. A message of hope - and promise. A wonderful read.
06/12/06
This is a beautifully written, thoughtful piece. I loved the last line, Purity. It really hits it home that the promise of peace can be real to everyone.
06/12/06
This is hauntingly beautiful, especially your first stanza, where just a little bit of peace is left behind amidst squalor. One of your best.
06/12/06
Yes, the bruised, dark world sees peace as elusive and a dream - something not real, nothing but a fantasy - out of reach.

You tenderly show them it is a solid, obtainable truth. Something to grasp and hold on to.

Love it Purity. Beautiful. :)
06/12/06
God's "Promise" is what we need, for sure, to give us reason to hope for that "elusive dream" of finding peace!

I have noticed the parallel structure of the stanzas in your previous poems, and I have to tell you, I LOVE it! I relish poetry done well, and you know how to do it better than most of us (I'm afraid!). God bless your writing for His glory!
06/13/06
Don't know how I could possibly add to the comments already here, but wanted to say that this poem is extraordinary. It seems to be God breathed. The symmetry and images take my breath away. Blessings to you!
06/14/06
Wow, Purity! You've done it again. This is just stunning in its heart-wrenching pain and brilliant conclusion. One tiny fix: I think you meant "battered and worn". Fabulous work!
How do you do it? You can portray such ragged, raw cuts of suffering, yearning and desperation and use beautifully polished, inspired poetic imagery and structure to do it! Your unique combination of wordsmanship, gut-honesty and tenderness penetrates to the heart as few poets can.
I'm hooked!
Congratulations, Purity! Once again your amazing, delicious talent is justly rewarded!
WOW Purity, I see you've done it again! Congrats!

I look forward to your next piece.

Trina <><
Congratulations Purity. You did great. I so appreciate your spirit. Your words draw out what's inside the heart and in your heart I see a very special woman.
06/15/06
Congratulations - a very well deserved win.