The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/08/06
Oh, come on! How can you do this to me? Wonderful opening - hooked me right away! The story had everything going for it...drama, mystery, suspense...but then, thud! So did Simon's heart really stop or did you intend to leave the reader hanging? Sigh. OK, ending aside, this was one awesome entry. I guess because it was so well written (up to the ending LOL), I'll forgive you. But I expect a sequel to be posted somewhere. Great work!
Hey!! No fair! LOL I agree, masterfull entry but the ending... I especially liked the line about him never having died before, but thinking he was doing it right.
06/08/06
Yup, one of the more exceptional opening here on FW. Somehow the ending needs to be wrapped up more, but I loved your writing.
What a cliff hanger! No fair! Great story. Wonderful build up. I found myself laughing throughout much of this piece (in a good way). Great work.
06/09/06
Great story - felt a bit let down by the ending - was hoping for a stunning insight into his dilemma - because I couldn't decide myself whether he should confess or not! Good writing.
06/10/06
A fantastic story! From A to Z ! Kept me interested throughout and I loved the ending! Contrary to what the others say...the ending is what made the story A+...great job.
This is a great entry - intriguing title, on target for the theme, good writing throughout ... to me, the ending was perfect. It was God's will that he should die without telling Eddie how he was tricked. I thoroughly enjoyed this story and its message of love.
06/11/06
I'm a new writer...but a lifelong reader...this was GREAT!

A great example for me to follow!

I'll look for more.



06/12/06
I love the ending too! The whole thing, actually. If it doesn't do too well, perhaps it will be because 'personal peace' isn't exactly 'the star of the show' ... this more tells why the MC is lacking it. I could be wrong re. being on topic - the whole dilemma does affect his dying wiht peace. Anyhow, it's a GREAT story. Well done!
06/13/06
I think the decision was taken out of his hands. Well done!

Yes, maybe th etopic wasn't exactly in the readers face, but it sure was written well and enjoyable to read.