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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)

TITLE: Ravens come
By Keith Wallis
06/03/06


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Ravens come

A piece of peace
separate, whole, a shelter.
Here is that healing calm
haven for the tormented tortured soul
an ointment on the wound
shade from stinging heat
and the quiet place.

The ravenous wind prowls outside
the quakes of life are just out of reach
and the glittering of storms do not penetrate.

Ravens come,
laden with their offerings of bread.

The journey to find this place
leaves littered baggage in its wake,
sprawling the used clothes
and worn shoes
battle wounded on the path.
Parting with unfriendly comfortable chains
sears with fear
stabs fingers in holed unhealed scars
grasps and releases nettled yesterdays.

Stabbed and bleeding,
naked, robbed, blinded
and accused
only here
the small voice is heard.

But this place is not the world,
nor is this place home,
this place is not tomorrow
but a shelter in today.

Ravens come,
laden with their offerings of bread.
Well be back.
Say the ravens.

Ill be here.
Says the small, refreshing, voice.


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This article has been read 741 times
Member Comments
Member Date
david grant06/08/06
Loved it. Terrific imagry. Looks like a winner to me.
George Parler 06/09/06
I'm not familiar with the structure but then I'm green at this. But the imagery is awesome. Great use of words. Good job!
Marilyn Schnepp 06/12/06
A great job here! I loved it. Breathtaking and beautifully done.
Helen Paynter06/12/06
I liked this. YOu probably realise it, but this is not at all an easy read - the reader has to work quite hard to suck out the marrow. Fine, as long as that is the effect you want!
My favourite line:
'grasps and releases nettled yesterdays.'
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/13/06
You painted a masterpiece with words. Good job.
dub W06/14/06
Good imagery. You started with some great alliteration (sounds). It worked well in the opening, I personally would have enjoyed a continuation; but none-the-less, the beat was wonderful.