The Official Writing Challenge
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06/08/06
I remember praying with a lady who felt lonely, and when she waited for God's answer to her cry, He said, "Well, I'm here!"
06/09/06
Fun story with a good message. I did feel that the conversation on the phone - while I enjoyed the dialogue - was a bit overdone in terms of 'I'd like to swap'. I enjoyed the read a lot though.
As a mother whose clan (including a set of identical 12-year-olds and a 15-year-old, all boys) was once described by a neighbor's child as "the noisy family," I hear you. I have found that personal retreat time is a v-e-r-y good thing!
The movement and pace of your story was superb. Great dialogue. The only problem I found was that the POV of the narrator seemed to jump out and made it difficult to follow. But I loved the message and the characters of the story.
06/12/06
I enjoyed this, especially in light of summer and the last day of school. My quiet life has been disturbed. This reminds me that even a moment with Him has amazing ramifications. I enjoyed this very much.
06/12/06
I like the use of techno-jargon from our ageless, eternal God. Nice touch.
06/12/06
“You can IM me 24/7. I’m always online." (What an awesome thought.)
Very realistic and well written!


Well done. And what mother (and grandmother) can't relate to the desires of this mother, and the unexpected feelings experienced when things do get quiet. Great job.
06/13/06
Pretty good work and dialog was realistic - lose some of the exclamation marks.
06/14/06
LOVED IT! LOVED IT! I can relate to all of it (except the pets). The more that you can relate to your readers, the more you engage them. You bring the reader right into the scene with the dialog. The theme is clearly illustrated (Oh,yeah. This is Masters. Of course you've got all this down already! Sorry, I'm calling to you from way back here in Beginners.) Thank you for a wonderful piece. Off to the bubble bath...
Oh, Venice, this is a delightful read! I've been there too a few years back :) You are so incredibly talented...love your style! Yes, it would be great to meet on our next trip to Atlanta after your move. Thank you so much for your encouraging comments on my poem "God Is..." Yes, I'm 'Evensong' on the boards :)