The Official Writing Challenge
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06/09/06
Very captivating story. I could see the black eye. Good job.
So glad it had a peaceful ending. Good story!
06/09/06
Loved the flow,reminds me of Psalm 91, Well written, conveying a sense of peace and calm in a the midst of a desperate situation. Great, no exellent dialog. I only hope I could exhibit that much peace. He truly is a shield about us.
06/12/06
Oh, how terrifying! I really like the character of the husband--fully developed in so few words, good job!
06/12/06
Author's note: (now that hinting has started). This is a true story that happened Sept. '04, and it was my husband's third night on the job. It took awhile for life to get "back to normal", we were on edge for quite awhile, watching out the windows, etc. My husband even saw one of the kids in a store not long after it happened, but they didn't see him.

It's been a long process, but going camping that weekend and starting karate -and prayer of course -made a world of difference in my husband's peace of mind.

As I stated in my hint, thanks to their bragging in school, a girl who worked with my husband heard about it and was able to help identify them and they were arrested, tried and took a plea bargin. This was good, as it meant my husband didn't have to appear in court and have our name in public record. We don't know what they were sentenced, and really didn't care - it was over.
06/12/06
Great job Shari of 'showing' us this terrible experience! Our town had a murder staged this very same way.

We could feel all the emotions through your writing - and that's a good thing! :)

06/12/06
Well written! I love the ending with your daughter's prayer.
Hi Shari!

Wow, I love reading true stories. They pack a punch that is absent with fiction. This is a perfect story to fit in with the topic. I did find a few mistakes. I found the switching of the POV to be a little distracting and I don't think you needed the centered ***** after the husband was relating the story to his wife. But besides that, I thought the story was perfect. You covered all the points and wrote the story very well. great job!

Love,
Jess
Good job, Shari. I liked it and admired your stamina and restraint.
06/12/06
God has truly delivered us from all evil and given us His peace that surpasses human understanding. That's why we can remain strong in the midst of a storm.Thanks for sharing.
06/12/06
Thanks for sharing this, Shari. I can see that you could have put in so much more if not for the word count. It was well-written, especially the dialogue. I hope God continues to keep both of you safe!
Very well written and captivating story. Knowing that it is true makes it even more engaging. Good job Shari.
06/12/06
Well, Shari, I guess we're the pizza queens this week! Deliver it or go to the pizza hut and pick it up! I'm so glad everything workked out for ya'll! Excellent job of "showing" what happened!
06/13/06
Nicely written, Shari. Even better now that I know it's true! I'm sorry for what your husband went through. I, for one, am glad to hear that they were caught. I hope their sentence was enough for them to learn their lesson! And thankfully, your husband was okay. Could have been much worse. Shudder. Thanks for sharing the experience with us. Blessings, Lynda
06/13/06
Children so often get it before we do "and keep Daddy...safe" Nicely done, good story.