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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Personal Peace (06/01/06)

TITLE: Personal Pan Peace
By Sue Dent
06/01/06


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The Pizza Hut was new so I don’t know why I expected anything other than the chaos I was looking at. Overwhelmed cashiers, hordes of customers, most of which were under the age of seven, eager to get their free personal pan pizza as advertised.

I had four such customers with me. Yes, I enjoy walking on the wild side. There just isn’t enough excitement in my life! Four eager diners and all four were tugging at my shirt trying to give their orders at once. As if I could hear above all the other children who were equally as exuberant.

“I want pepperoni on mine,” five-year old Johnny, small for his age but definitely loud, yelled above the din. “But no ‘shrooms ‘cuz they make me go to the bathroom.”

“Potty mouth, potty mouth . . . ,” seven-year old Christy, the informer, chanted. “You’re gonna get in trouble.”

My efforts to intervene before things got out of hand were wasted. Nobody could hear me, even if they were paying attention, which they weren’t.

“Cheese, cheese, cheese,” four-year old Bobby continued to say over and over, sparking two-year old Justin who joined in despite the fact that he could barely say the word cheese three weeks ago. In fact, he could barely say anything other than, “mamamamamama!”

Oh but cheese was the word now. Loud and boisterous, Bobby and Justin jumped up and down with no regard. Children behind them were overcome with their glee and started jumping as well. They didn’t want cheese on their pizza, they were simply inspired!

“You should control your children,” one mother said, promptly placing one of her joyous, jumping beans on her hip where he still bounced despite her efforts to stop him.

I simply turned and put in my order.

You see, I never asked the children what they’d wanted in the first place. They always order the same thing. They just take great pride and joy in telling me what they want. I guess it makes them feel important. I’m all for that but not when I’m in a crowded restaurant filled with my children’s peers who seem to feed off their enthusiasm.

The words of my husband come back to me as I pick Justin up, pull the two-year old close with my free hand. Silence Christy with a stern look that subsequently affects Johnny.

“Are you seriously going to take them without any help?” my husband had asked, his face contorting as it always does before I attempt to take on such a Herculian task that he absolutely can not understand!

“No, I’m fine,” I’d replied. “We do this all the time.”

Remembering these words, I smiled as silence prevailed. Well, silence from my own children that is. The others, the ones they’d sparked were still randomly shouting cheese every now and then. I smiled none-the-less and placed my order. Four Personal Pan Pizzas: two cheese, one pepperoni and one with mushrooms. The cashier takes all of the information and then looks directly at me.

“Would you like anything?”

“Not unless you have Personal Pan Peace!” I replied.

She stares blankly.

“Didn’t think so.”


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This article has been read 711 times
Member Comments
Member Date
david grant06/08/06
Fun! Chaotic and funny!
Rita Garcia06/08/06
Brilliant job! I'm assuming this is based on the thread in the MB. lol. Great true-to-life story! Sure to be a favorite!
Cassie Memmer06/08/06
Cute! You made all the little characters real. Poor Mom should learn you can't buy peace! LOL! Written very well and entertainingly. Fun.
Kevin Kindrick06/08/06
This was great, fun to read. Especially since I used to work at a pizza hut, and am now a children's pastor! I loved the insight, and the reality.

God bless,

Kevin
Jan Ross06/08/06
Thanks for a smile-producing story! I loved it! As a mom of six and grandma of twelve, I can quickly visualize the entire scene! Good job!
George Parler 06/09/06
Funny piece. I'm sure lots of mothers can relate.
Pat Guy 06/12/06
Great scene! It was nice to be here and not 'there!' :)

Love the 'potty mouth' and loved it that the lady's children who complained were 'inspired' by the best!

A fun, enjoyable, insightful read. Well written too! ;)
Jan Ackerson 06/12/06
I agree with all the previous commenters--and I've just got to add that I laughed out loud at the cameo appearance of the mother saying "you should control your children." She just cracked me up, and props to your main character for not decking her.
Teri Wilson06/12/06
Great job Sue. I'm the one who started the talk of personal pan pizza on the boards. I just couldn't help it. It's all I could think of when I saw "personal peace." I guess great minds think alike. I really enjoyed your story. Can't believe you get them in so fast.
Sue Dent06/12/06
Yes, teri, my mouth dropped when I saw your thread!! The dilemma of getting them in fast, the mom picked up Justin, who is the two year old, yet she pulled the two year old close as well. I got the two boys mixed up. AAAAArrrggg!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/12/06
I'm sure glad I haven't been to that Pizza Hut. Great job, well done.
Tesiri Moweta06/12/06
Thanks for sharing this,it was a great read.
Lisa Vest06/12/06
So funny, because it's so true to life! Great piece on peace!
Sherry Wendling06/13/06
Perfect light touch! Utterly believable...great dialogue.

Just a teeny nitpick: Paragraph 11 shifted tense, then P. 12 shifted back again for a flying finish. You might want to tweak #11 to match.

Great stuff!

Trina Courtenay06/14/06
Sue? I thought Shari wrote the pizza piece? Ah nuts, know I'm confused but than when am I not? In anycase, I shall find out tomorrow who the real author is...

Until then, whom ever wrote this, there's not much more that I can say that hasn't already been said. Thank-you for the much needed laugh! :) Who would have ever thought..."I'll have a personal pan peace to go!"

Trina<><
Shari Armstrong 06/15/06
Loved it! Great job!


   
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