“Oh, God! What have I done?”
The cry echoed off brazen skies and was repeated again and again, varying only in pitch. The girl from whom it arose huddled in a darkened bedroom, hugging herself and rocking back and forth.
“What have I done? What have I done!”
The fevered lament rose higher, climaxed, and subsided into muffled wails. The tiniest of cracks appeared in the man-constructed barrier between Heaven and the natural world. In the throne room of the Father, her cry was heard. Accuser and Advocate prepared to present their cases.*
“Hear how she weeps!” Satan sneered as he paced before the throne. “She had no regrets when she acted on her lust three months ago! Dare I remind You, she turned her back on You, and turned her face toward her boyfriend! But he has deserted her, hasn’t he? There’s no one to help her now.”
God the Father was silent, but the eyes of the Son gazed with sorrow on the scene being played out on earth. Again her futile cry rose. “What have I done, Lord?”
“Listen to her!” the accuser hissed. “Who is she to even attempt to approach this throne for mercy? She knows what she’s done!”
Again, Father and Son remained silent. All Heaven was stilled as the earthly drama continued and the accuser sensed victory. A movement in the room on earth caught the attention of both Satan and the Son of God. The girl was searching for something.
“You know what she’s looking for, don’t You?” Satan leered. Then as if she could hear him, he whispered, “You slipped them into your purse, remember? Just four or five and you’ll forget all about it.”
Her weeping became gulping hiccoughs and her movements more deliberate. She emptied the contents of her night stand drawer onto her bed. A blue-covered book lay atop the pile.
“In your purse, fool! In your purse!” Satan commanded, his pace becoming more frenzied.
The girl, deep in thought, stared at her purse. Her fingers touched, then toyed with the clasp.
“That’s right,” cooed Satan. “Soon your pain will be no more.”
Turning to the throne in triumph, he declared, “She’s mine once she takes those pills, and You can’t save her!”
“Be quiet! She’ll find what she really needs,” the Son said. “She’s ready to listen now. See for yourself, Prince of Lies.”
Satan halted midstride and peered toward the cloud of angels and demons surrounding the girl in battle. The book from the night stand lay open in her lap and she leafed through page after page. The Son pointed, and she paused on one page, her finger tracing the words. As she read, the battle about her began to wane, demons falling away in panic.
“No!” shrieked Satan. “Is not the blood of her unborn child crying out from the ground? She’s a murderer and by Your own Law, she is condemned!”**
“Silence!” thundered the Father. “She speaks!”
Tears spattered on the words of Psalm 51 as she prayed. “Lord, I’m so ashamed. I let my parents convince me that I should get rid of my baby. I knew it was wrong, I knew . . . ” She drew in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry! If I could undo what was done, I would. If I could . . . ” Another deep breath. “Please . . . please . . . have mercy on me . . . forgive me! Don’t cast me from Your presence. I need You. Show me Your plan for my life if You can still use me. I give myself to You.”
The girl knelt on the floor and buried her face in her folded arms.
From the throne came the voice of the Father. “Her sins are forgiven, accuser. You meant to destroy her but she has surrendered her life to My Son. He made the blood atonement.”***
“And You believe her words?” the accuser screamed.
“No,” the Son of God answered. “I know her heart.”
* Romans 8:34
** Genesis 9:6
***I John 2:1-2
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