The Official Writing Challenge
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This is really impressive. Excellent writing. What a gripping, on the edge of your seat kinda read. Loved the ending. Also loved how you led the reader along, didn't tell them everything at one. Wow, brutal. Love it.
You led me right ahead. I was thinking he had come to the motel to pay for carnal pleasures. Took me back awhile to find out he was a law enforcement officer.
Great work.
06/02/06
This was amazing writing. I was very drawn in...wanting to know and yet *not* wanting to know what was next. Excellent. I want another chapter! Kate~
06/03/06
Well written, riveting. Grabbed me at the beginning nad held on. What a sad plight for so many people.
I agree--excellent writing skills...You'll be advancing from Level 1 very soon!
06/04/06
Incredible, riviting, almost a little concern as to the end, afraid it might be Megan. Thank you, for reminding us to talk to our children, know where they are and bear their tantrums sometimes in order to protect them.
06/04/06
First-rate! You did the transitions between past and present seamlessly, and I could really visualize the horrible scene in the motel.
06/04/06
Okay, well I knew right away what was going on BUT because it was so well written! To obvious to me to be what it could have been and yet so subtle. Grand job! Better put that bus in gear and move it forward!!!
06/04/06
Seemed to be written effortlessly. Great scene setting - you evoked emotions perfectly. :) Wonderful job.
06/04/06
Excellent piece. You've grown so much as an author. Outstanding. Only two word choices I didn't like. An adverb in the opening line! Yikes! And then the images of the daughter "danced" ... yet danced is not consistent with the scene. A memory flickering or maybe an image fading. Something thatbetter matches the rest of the scene. But those are minor. I expect you'll get an outstanding rating ... provided the judges find the "purpose" strand woven in there.
06/04/06
I wasn't sure I wanted to continue reading but I had to. Very captivating read.
06/05/06
You had me worried, trying to sort out what was happening with what this man was thinking. But, it served the purpose of pulling me into the story, hoping to understand the situation. (How I wish the detectives could have arrived in time!) You are a polished writer, blessed by God with wonderful talent. Thank you for writing this, something every teenager could benefit by reading!
I really like this. I was a bit confused for a minute and almost fearful that it would be a personal tragedy for this father. Well done.
hey Tim. Just wanted to share my congrats. Well deserved win!
06/08/06
Congratulations, Tim! I knew you had a winner with this powerful writing!