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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Purposefulness (Purpose in Life) (05/25/06)

TITLE: A Purpose Driven Wife
By Lynda Lee Schab
05/28/06


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Saturday mornings are for relaxation and that’s exactly what I doing. I sat in my favorite green Lazy-Boy, newspaper in hand and coffee within reach.

What more could a man ask for?

I heard my wife enter the room, but I didn’t look up. We had already said good morning and, right now, the sports section demanded my attention.

“Hey, honey,” she said, in her sweet, soft voice.

“Hmmm---“ I mumbled.

“I was thinking we could spend some time together today.”

My ears perked up and I looked over the paper. Pam was still dressed in her silk kimono, long hair damp from the shower. “Spending time together” was about the only thing that could distract me right now. When she batted her baby browns at me, she had me. I grinned and threw the paper on the ground.

“Let’s go!” I said, struggling up from the chair.

“Oh, I was hoping you’d say that.” She pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from behind her back and shoved them into my chest. “Here. Get dressed. We’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

“Huh?” I stood there, dumbfounded.

“I have to go to the mall and look for a dress for Kate's and Adam's wedding. I need your help.”

“What? Wait a minute. Why can’t your mother go with you?”

Pam looked at me strangely. “Because my mother lives five states away.” She rolled her eyes.

“What about Nancy and Kim? Why don’t you treat yourself to a Girl’s Day Out?” I suggested hopefully.

“Honey, come on. They won’t be seeing me in the dress – you will. I want your opinion.”

I sighed and watched the manipulator bounce up the stairs. Why, oh why, couldn’t I say no to that woman?

******************************************************************************

The mall parking lot was jammed.

“Is there some kind of special event going on?” I asked.

“It’s the Christmas in August sale,” she said, and pointed to a car backing out of its parking space, about a mile and a half from the door. I longed for my recliner.

“I thought it was Christmas in July?” I asked as we walked.

“July is over. Nothing happens in August. They had to come up with something.”

“Ah, gotcha.”

I totally didn’t get it.

My wife was on a mission. In the first store, she marched directly to the dresses, dove into dozens of racks and emerged carrying no less than fifteen. She led me to the dressing room area, where I finally got to sit down. It didn’t matter that I was sandwiched on a sofa between two other helpless looking husbands. The three of us sat awkwardly, waiting for our wives, occasionally checking our watches and cracking a joke or two.

My wife came out and showed me dress number one.

“That’s nice,” I said.

“Nice?” she asked, frowning. “I want, WOW!” She disappeared again.

“She did look good,” offered the guy on my right.

“Yeah,” agreed the left guy.

An hour or so later, we left the first store with no dress. I waved to my two new friends and wished them luck.

For the next four hours, I was dragged through mobs of people, shoved six times, stepped on twice by bratty kids, and snapped at by rude sales people. The worst was that after four hours, Pam was still empty-handed.

“What are you going to do?” I asked, praying she’d just give up.

“Oh – I’m going back to the first store to get the dress you called, “nice.” I really liked that one.”

WHAT? If you liked it, why didn’t you just get it four hours ago?” Thoughts of my Lazy-Boy returned. I could gotten in a long nap!

“I had to make sure there wasn’t a better deal out there,” she smiled and patted my arm.

I was pretty sure I had gotten the worst deal of all.

“Thanks for tagging along, honey,” Pam said sweetly. “I know you hate shopping and I really do appreciate it.”

I softened. At that moment, I decided that my wife was worth a little discomfort. And that my husbandly purpose had been fulfilled for the day.

When we got home, I plopped into my recliner, completely exhausted. My wife, on the other hand, was exhilarated.

“OK, honey, now we can really spend some time together, if you know what I mean,” she said slyly.

For the first time I could remember, I had a headache.

But you know, I just can’t say no to that woman!


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This article has been read 1192 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jen Davis06/02/06
Cute story. I enjoyed your sense of humor. Real characters that are easy to relate to. I was smiling throughout your story but had a good laugh at the end. Great job!
Rita Garcia06/02/06
Wonderful depiction! Love the humor!
terri tiffany06/02/06
Ha ha! This could be my marriage!! I loved the part about the two guys with him on the bench...so true to life. Great piece..really connected with me.
James Clem 06/02/06
Great thought dialogue!

“Ah, gotcha.” I totally didn’t get it.
...and...
I was pretty sure I had gotten the worst deal of all.

caught this one:
I could ____ gotten in a long nap!

Fun story. Be careful: I think the phrase "purpose driven" has been copyrighted. ; -)
Joanne Malley06/02/06
This was fun, entertaining writing! Enjoyed. :)
Suzanne R06/04/06
Too funny!!!!!!!

You've got inside the mind of the woman very well!
Jan Ackerson 06/04/06
This is truly masterful--I was certain that it was written by a man, so I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was you! I loved, loved, loved everything about this--the voice, the humor, even the sexiness. Loved the cameo appearances of the two guys in the store. Very, very funny.
Maxx .06/04/06
This is classic Lynda... I had it picked out as yours. You have a unique wit. Your dialogue moved the piece ... as usual. I think there was an adverb or two I personally would have yanked but that's a minor thing. Great entry, as usual.
Brenda Craig06/04/06
Too cute. My husband has worn these shoes many times in so many ways. I am going to go hug and thank him rght now. Chuckle:)
Amy Michelle Wiley 06/04/06
Hehe, cute story!
T. F. Chezum06/04/06
Cute story ... great sense of humor
Dr. Sharon Schuetz06/04/06
Loved it. You nailed everyone with this one. I loved the end. Great job.
Dara Sorensen06/05/06
Classic. I'm sure nearly every boyfriend and husband can relate to this piece!
Jessica Schmit06/05/06
Wonderful! How fun! I did find this sentance to be missing a word. "Saturday mornings are for relaxation and that’s exactly what I doing" other than that, it was fabulous. I loved the ending. Great work.
Genstacia Bull06/05/06
It made me laugh. Well done.
Betty Overstreet06/23/06
Lynda, I can totally understand why you have been a winner numerous times with your writing. "A Purpose Driven wife" is a winner in my book. I so enjoyed the way you wove the story around and back to the beginning.
Deborah Anderson07/30/06
Well, I haven't been over to read stories in a while, so I pulled up my favorite authors' list. As always, I love your work, Lynda. You had me belly laughing out loud on this piece. Great job, sister. I love ya.