 |
|
|
Five days to go. I sit here surrounded by boxes, in a sterile, almost empty apartment and wait. Oh, there are still last minute things to do, people to say goodbye to, and details to look after. But basically I can be ready at any moment to walk out the door with my bags and not look back.
The trouble is, I don’t want to look forward either. I am in a state of limbo; a point in my life when I know I will not return to things as they were before, but nor am I going home to anything secure or permanent. When I turn over the keys to this apartment, I will have no home here. When I land at my destination, it will be as a gypsy, moving from place to place without time to root anywhere — on temporary assignment. This is not a comfortable feeling.
The task I am leaving is not the one to which I will return. I have a plan on paper for what I want to do with the rest of my working life, but that is all it is: A plan on paper. I can’t see how it will work, or even if it can work. If it can function, I am still left with doubts as high as my pile of boxes as to whether I am the one to make it work. This is not a comfortable feeling.
Then I sat down to have my devotions this morning and I came to the very last verse of the last chapter assigned for today: “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever — do not abandon the works of your hands” (Psalm 138:8 NIV). Suddenly the mountain of boxes didn’t seem so high, the insecurity of life and ministry less daunting. “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me.” There isn’t any greater security than that. It’s funny though, the psalmist writes this phrase with such assurance and then follows it with a plea that reflects his fears: “Do not abandon the works of your hands”. How very human of him!
I am such a contradiction; so bold one minute and so chicken-hearted the next. I guess that’s why the middle of the verse is so important. God’s love never wears thin in spite of my contradictions. If He says He will fulfill His purpose in me that is exactly what He will do, though it would be much more comfortable for me if I were leaning more in the direction of the first part of the verse and less toward the second half.
Beside the phrase: “his purpose” is a little letter written in italics. That tiny “q” led me to a cross reference and then to Philippians 1:6 (NIV): “ … being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus”.
Double whammy, but please hit me again!
I waver more than I care to admit; God doesn’t. I have more uncompleted projects than I will own up to no matter who applies the thumbscrews; God doesn’t. He started this project called “Me”, and He will finish it. Best of all, it will be a “good work”.
What God starts, He always finishes well; without doubts, without wavering. He’s the perfect Box Cutter.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
|
|
|
