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A CANDLE-LIGHT BREAKFAST
(Husband walking in the door)
WIFE: Surprise!
HUSBAND: Hey, what’s this all about?
WIFE: I just thought I would surprise you with a little something special.
HUSBAND: Now you know you didn’t need to do all this. It’s almost 5:00 in the morning. You’re gonna need to be getting ready for work in a few hours.
WIFE: Yeah I know, but since we’ve been working opposite shifts we haven’t been able to spend a whole lot of time together. So I just thought I would shock you. Since there never seems to be an opportunity for us to have a candle-light dinner I figured, why not try a candle-light breakfast?
HUSBAND: (Sitting down to eat) Well it does look good. I could smell this bacon cooking as soon as I got out of the truck. (munching on a crisp piece of bacon) So how was your night? (crunch, crunch) Did the kids act up?
WIFE: Well, let me see? Laura and I made a map of the United States out of jelly beans for her school project, but when we left it out to dry your dumb dog ate the whole East Coast. Stephanie has decided that since we won’t let her get a tattoo of Lil Bow Wow on her stomach she’s willing to settle for just his name on her arm, and your son Steven is in love with an older woman, Rhonda Wilcox from the 2nd grade. I figure they should be married and moved out by the time he’s 9.
HUSBAND: Just a regular old night at the Turner household I guess huh?
WIFE: Yeah I guess. But you know what Laura asked me after she said her prayers last night?
HUSBAND: What?
WIFE: She asked if we would always be her mommy and daddy.
HUSBAND: Really? What do you think made her ask something like that?
WIFE: I don’t know. I told her of course we will. When I asked her why she would ask such a question, she just said because if we both weren’t here she would miss us too much.
HUSBAND: Well you told her right. We will always be her mommy and daddy. You know that little girl is my heart.
WIFE: I know she’s got you wrapped around her little finger.
She had me feeling pretty sentimental too. I must be since I’m here cooking you breakfast, and sun hasn’t even come up yet. We get so stressed out always running from one place to another.
I guess sometimes it takes your child to remind you what the point is.
HUSBAND: Well you know I appreciate it. You go ahead and get some more sleep before you have to get up for work. You know getting them ready for school in the morning is my shift.
WIFE: Oh I know it. And while I’m sleeping I’m going to be appreciating you all the more, because Stephanie is waiting to ask you about her Bow Wow tattoo, Steven wants to know when is the best time to start holding hands with his new girlfriend, and the east coast still needs to be re-built on Laura’s map.
The jelly beans are on the counter. Good night.
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