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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Willingness (02/21/05)

TITLE: Postponed Regrets
By Maxx .
02/26/05


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The baby-sitter pulled a no show; choir practice probably kept her late. I had to ask the neighbor girl for a last minute favor. Yuck. I hoped that she’d remember there were kids in the house and wouldn’t just sit in front of MTV all evening. My traveling husband wasn’t around to help. He’d even forgotten to make his scheduled check in call.

I was alone on insanity island, and late to my Bible study / bake off.

The traffic had been intense. Not one, not two, but three deserted cars in my ten mile stretch of Highway 118. Being the last to arrive meant I had to park down the block, even farther away than the perennially tardy Betty Jackson. I showed up at the house exactly 55 minutes behind schedule, a lime meringue pie in one hand and my Bible in the other.

When I knocked, the door swung open by itself.

I peeked inside. “Sorry I’m late but—” Nobody was there. My high heels made a loud echoing noise with each step in the tile entryway sounding like I was tap dancing in an empty museum. “Reverend Nash? Betty?”

No reply.

The lights were on and Point of Grace played softly on the stereo. I passed the dining area. Paper plates and cups were scattered on the surfaces, the chairs left in haphazard order. A fork lay on the floor next to a half-eaten cookie. Down the hall, the living room waited. I hesitated as the hairs on my neck were beginning to prickle.

“Hello? Reverend? Anyone home?” Nothing. This was odd. I stepped closer. The coffee maker gurgled behind me, releasing a hiss of steam. I jumped, a squeak escaping from my throat. I turned towards the kitchen. The faucet drizzled into an abandoned sink; the microwave display flashed “END … END … END”. No one answered the message.

Something was wrong.

“God, what’s going on here?” He didn’t answer either. I struggled to control my breathing.

I pressed forward towards the living room, my knees becoming weak. Coats and purses were strewn about as if their owners had vanished, simply disappeared without them. The ceiling fan rotated below the lights, causing the room to flicker. The strobe effect made me dizzy as the walls began to twist and warp. The drapes in front of the open sliding door ballooned towards me in the swelling breeze like a demon's hand trying to grasp me. I stepped farther in. Bibles. They were lain around the room. Upside down, closed, sprawled on the sofas, tossed on the floor. In the center, on the coffee table, Reverend Nash’s oversized study Bible held my stare. The rice paper pages blew in the wind and seemed to be calling me closer.

I crossed to it.

As I approached a gust whipped about me, flipping papers over my feet. I stumbled, trying not to step on them, my foot instead landing on the open cover of Left Behind that peaked from beneath the recliner. The Reverend’s notes lifted from his Bible and seemed to hang in mid air before me.

I froze. The words on the page read: “The Rapture. You’ll know you were left behind when…”

My heart pounded and I doubled over in panic. Everyone was gone! I’d been left! I’d missed it! “Reverend! Betty! Anybody!” I ran in a circle, mindless of where I was going. What had gone wrong? My heart must not have been right! But I prayed and studied the Bible! I wrote stories for God! I was wrong and now it was too late!

“Jesus, please! No! You know I love you! Take me with you! I’m willing to do anything!” I felt tears beginning to stream down my cheeks. I knew my prayer would go unanswered. My options had ended.

It was over.

A hand clasped my shoulder from behind. “Jessica?”

I jumped and spun about. It was Reverend Nash followed by the rest of the group descending the stairs from looking at his new wallpaper. Relief flooded my veins and I leapt forward to hug him. I forgot about the contents of my hands. My Bible fell to the floor and the lime meringue pie flew ahead of me, striking the confused man square in the face.

We laughed until the tears on my cheeks were from joy and not despair. It was a Bible lesson I’d not soon forget.

“Lord, Take me with you. I’m willing to do anything.”

1 Thessalonians 4:17


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This article has been read 937 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Deborah Bauers02/28/05
Wonderful storytelling! My heart was pounding right along with your main character's as I felt her confusion and fear.
Jamie Driggers02/28/05
Great story. Awesome leads with the babysitter/ abandoned cars, too.
Mandy Houk03/01/05
Oh, you had me nervous! Good job pulling in the reader.
Kelly Klepfer03/01/05
Once, when I was a little girl, I found a pan boiling on the stove but no mom. We can all use a little scare to do a quick heart check now and again.
donna robinson03/04/05
You built the suspense perfectly! What it must feel like to think that...even for a moment.
Debbie OConnor03/06/05
Great fun! Very well told. Suspenseful, with a great ending. I particularly loved the pie in the face.
Jessica Schmit05/16/06
LOL. Maxx, I never knew you could write comedy! This NEEDS to be read out at every church. My pastor actually hates the "Left Behind Series" books due to the fear it creates in people. Also, he became a Christian watching "Theif in the Night," he now hates that movie as well! Anyway, back to you. This seriously, is absolutely hilarious. This is the first time I've read it (I backed away from FW for about a year due to frustration of never placing). I loved it. I loved the suspense. When you mentioned the books, fear shot up my spine and I thought "Oh no, Maxx caved!" But, you proved me wrong again. This is priceless. Like I said, I sincerly hope you can get this published somewhere. Every church member has thought this once or twice in thier life and would LOVE this. I also like that you wrote from the POV of a woman. If I didn't know you were the author, I would've been convinced a man wrote it. Congrats. Also, a very good take on the topic. Perfect in fact.
Jessica Schmit05/16/06
One more thing. I love the fact that my name was in your story. LOL. I'm selfish, what can I say?!


   
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