Ann’s eyes functioned independently; she had no depth perception. In the midst of a tiring or stressful situation, one eye might carelessly wander to the side rather than focus on the object at hand. The effect could be either curious or startling for an onlooker – depending on the circumstances. From Ann’s point of view, the resulting mixed visual messages only matched the illusive, inner confusion that controlled her.
Misperceptions defined more than her vision. Everything about Ann seemed imbalanced or somehow slightly askew. It was as if an inner discrepancy divided her body and soul. While she was brilliant and well educated, employers repeatedly fired her until she retired for good in her 30’s. The needs of others motivated her compassionate heart, and yet she often seemed overbearing or socially inept and so found herself isolated and alone much of the time. She jogged and swam marathons to develop a strong cardiovascular system, but still became plagued by debilitating, chronic allergies that kept her indoors for weeks at a time.
Ann appeared to be anything but prosperous. Her messy house was plagued by a nightmare of deferred maintenance issues. Cobwebs, leaky faucets, crumbling plaster walls and peeling linoleum floors surrounded her. When her stove broke down, she used a microwave or countertop toaster oven to cook her one meal each evening – rather than purchase a new major appliance. Other people seldom initiated contact, so she built a loyal relationship with her dog. As a gifted photographer, she regretted the fact that she could not afford to buy film or pay for photo processing.
And yet, Ann maintained hope and sought God with a vision for total healing. She was a person of deep spiritual convictions and perceptions.
The year Ann celebrated her sixtieth birthday God changed her circumstances. A benefactor in the extended family stepped forward and donated enough money to allow Ann to continue to live independently. This same benefactor purchased a computer and digital camera for her. She found a new church home where she felt unconditionally loved and desired, perhaps for the first time in her life. The pastor accepted her; everyone there accepted her. Ann “saw” life through a different lens, a supernaturally clear lens. Her false identity - worthlessness – was redefined from the inside out.
Many things stayed the same. Her house still smelled musty; she continued to struggle financially; people avoided her. But Ann also began to outgrow her internal limitations. She accepted and believed in herself. Even more than that, she trusted God to prosper her soul in the midst of depravity.
As she followed God’s lead, Ann broke free of certain limitations, one small step at a time.
A woman named Trish saw through Ann’s undiagnosed social disabilities to discover her heart, and became a new best friend.
A sorely neglected nursing home resident needed help, and so Ann contacted a local attorney to instigate major reform that affected every tenant living in the facility.
Two local businesses hired Ann to make follow-up service calls on the telephone, allowing her to earn regular income.
The church welcomed Ann’s participation. She stepped out of her comfort zone to play the saxophone with the praise/worship band, and also authored a column for the monthly church newsletter where she shared nuggets of discovery and truth.
Ann’s feelings of inner “solitary confinement” diminished, bit by bit, and she made strides toward wholeness…until cancer took her life and she left to be with the Lord at the age of sixty-six.
Ann’s six years of prosperity were not decided by money, education, acquired skills, social status, or anything external. Her measure of success was a matter of faith, humility, and expectation…and deep perceptions. She sought first the kingdom of God* - and then believed, truly believed, that with Him all things are possible.**
My sister Ann left behind a legacy of spiritual “depth perception” to redefine prosperity…as a condition of the heart.
* “…do not worry about…what you will eat…or about your body, what you will wear…See how the lilies…do not labor…If that is how God clothes the grass of the field…will he not much more clothe you…?…do not worry…But seek first his kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” (excerpts from Matthew 6:25-34)
** “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27)
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