The Official Writing Challenge
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05/18/06
Very clever take on the theme and well written to boot.
Very good job! I did find the spaces between the dialogue on the phone and the description of what Micah was doing to be "too long" and took away from the conversation. I know I probably didn't make a lot of sense saying that. Pm me if you need clarification. But, you set the scene extremely well, it was well written, engaging and entertaining.
05/18/06
Very good! This is one of those "Ahh Ha!' pieces, like when you hear an old song. At first you don't recognize it and then Ahh Ha, you realize what it is. I enjoyed the ah ha moment when I realized where you were going. I don't believe much of the second paragraph is needed at all. Great read, right on topic!
05/20/06
Great! I like the dialogue and the message. You did a wonderful job in your vivid presentation of this subject.
05/23/06
This is so cute! Micah is a fun character, and this is very creative.

I like it best when Micah's actually talking, rather than when you're summarizing Mr. Gregory's situation. Here's a thought--write this as a play or skit?

Regardless, this has an abundance of character, and just enough "bite"--like a good salsa.
This is wonderfully creative. It would make a great skit or play. I really enjoyed it.
05/23/06
This was very entertaining!
Notes: I stumbled over "focussed and judgemental" but these may be non-US spellings ala "programmes".
The line, "Micah twisted a sharpened pencil in between his fingers.", really broke the flow of my reading as I was trying to picture it. I think I know what you're describing, but I had to think about it. It broke the flow for me.
Again - very entertaining. I like Jan's suggestion of turning this into a skit.
05/23/06
This was too cool! Good job! In masters I get to be a little more picky. You had the line:

"Micah had to move the telephone a distance from his ear as Mr Gregory launched into a blistering attack on Micah's boss."

This could have been easily written without using the term "Micah" twice by putting the Gregory beat first.

Also, the ending was notquite to the caliber of the rest of the piece.

But, despite these little things, you'll do quite well with this! Great job!
05/24/06
Love this entry! Creative and entertaining.
Okay, so maybe I'm nuts but I kept thinking about the fairy tale about the Little Red Hen....does anyone else remember this story??

The Complaints Department of the Kingdom of God - now that cracked me up. :-)

I liked Micah's persona. I can almost picture his face!