The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 735 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/19/06
A few spelling "thingys" to fix, but I loved this story. This line sent me off into gales of laughter: "Aunt Beth Sadie declared that if I ever called her ‘Aunt BS’ she’d tie my feet together, hang me out the second floor window and use me as a bird feeder." Great job.
Oh, I'd love to meet the two aunts! Your characters came delightfully alive for me.
I wonder if the humor factor might be utilized for an even stronger ending. All in all, a great job!
I loved these two old biddies. I agree with the "typos", as I like to call them, they distract from a great read. I really liked how you tied the beginning to the end with their sayings all over the place and the one you remember and even embroidered on a pillow.
05/21/06
Boy did I love these two aunts of yours. Are we related? I had two aunts exactly like that. I wish I could capture their essence half as well as you did here. Somehow I suspect Aunt Beth Sadie would tell you not to get too full of yourself for writing such a good story, and Aunt CJ (did you really call her that, or did you just get tired of typing Claudia Jean?) would already be burning up the message boards with the news of win this week. If it turned out that you didn't win, I'd bet we have a few judges who'd better be watching the back of their heads! :>)
05/22/06
This is hilarious, and nearly perfect. What a marvelous voice you have!
05/22/06
This was fun. There are typos, my great "ants" in the first line was a particularly large stumbling block. That first line is a weak opening line. "was" is a passive verb - reframe it with action or description. (I think I recognize the author as one who has requested serious feedback.)
This was a joy to read. I loved these two unique women. Beautifully told.
05/23/06
I was blessed to have Aunts like this! You took me back, thank you for reminding us what is important to a child. This quote is one to remember, “Prosperity comes not from the pocket but from the heart.” Blessings
I agree with the other comments that have already been made (typos were a bit distracting, lively and unique characters were very entertaining), but also want to say that I loved the ending: "One thing they taught me I actually did embroidered on a pillow: 'Prosperity comes not from the pocket but from the heart.' They taught me that through Christmases where gifts were light, but love was not, through nights spent watching tem read and discuss the Bible and their faith and through days spent acting on it. They taught me that with every smile and giggle and hug.

They taught me that with their lives."

Whew-ee, now wouldn't we all like to have such a legacy? :-)