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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Prosperity (05/11/06)

TITLE: HE LIVES!
By Venice Kichura
05/14/06


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HE LIVES!

The Flagler Bridge connects two worlds--
The “haves” and the “have-nots.”
While those on one side beg for food
The others cruise their yachts.



On one side, dwell the millionaires
Who live affluently.
And some don’t even work at all.
They have prosperity.


Directly on the other side
Are those who just survive.
The folks who walk the downstreet streets
Are very much deprived.

Amanda lives east of the bridge.
In Palm Beach she does dwell.
She lives in total opulence;
Her bank accounts all swell.

Each week she drives across the bridge
Enroute to West Palm Beach.
It’s there she worships at her church
And hears the Father preach.

He speaks of how God loves us all
And how we need to share
Our many blessings with the poor
So they will know we care.

She tosses in her twenty bucks
Into the offrin’ plate.
And then she drives her flashy Porsche
Back through her marbled gate.

Yet even though she’s never missed
A service at her church,
She feels a void down in her heart
That makes her want to search.

She volunteers her time to serve
And sings up in the choir.
But still it does not satisfy
Or fill her heart’s desire.




It’s on an Easter Sunday morn
While on her way to mass,
She crosses o’er the bridge and sees
Some paupers she’d soon pass.

A group of them are holding signs---
Which beckon please HELP GIVE!.
She stops her car and locks her doors,
Concerned for how they live.

She hears their cries and wants to help;
She sees their poverty.
She throws a wad of dollar bills,
And then she wants to flee.

But just as she takes off to go,
She sees a smiling man
Who yells, “Please wait! I want to talk
And make you understand.”


.
“Dear lady, although you mean well,
I am a well-off guy.
My Father is most prosperous---
My needs he does supply.”


“I thank you anyway,” he says
“But here’s your dollar bill.
My Father owns ten thousand cows
Upon His many hills.”

“My Father is the one true God
Who saved my soul from hell.
And now I live to share His love--
To you I want to tell.”


“When I took Jesus as my Lord
He richly blessed my soul
And gave me His eternal life;
Now I’m on heaven’s roll.”

“And if you’ll look more carefully,
My sign’s not like the rest--
It reads H-E and then a space
Then L-I- V- E- S!”



“Today this Easter Sunday morn
This sermon I do send--
HE LIVES forever and it’s true
On Him you can depend.”


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This article has been read 1219 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jessica Schmit05/18/06
I enjoyed this, but I felt that a few of the verses were a little weak. Your message was great and the story was captivating, but to really hit home with me, I would like to see it "tightened up a bit." I really don't want to said too negative, as you did do a fabulous job with the message, word choice and story.
Phyllis Inniss 05/19/06
A great message for us all. Perhaps the same message could have come across with fewer verses, but I liked the rhythm.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz05/20/06
This poem had a steady rythem but was rather long. Some of the rhyming was almost a stretch, but it had a great message.
Jan Ackerson 05/22/06
This is very good, I was only puzzled about "offrin'" when "offering" wouldn't have upset the rhythm, and would be more in keeping with the tone of the poem. Otherwise, a great ballad, and a lesson well learned.
Val Clark05/23/06
I do like the character you have drawn here - she just doesn't make the connection! A difficult task to take on in poetic form, but you got your message across.
Maxx .05/23/06
Loved the message. Great points! Since you're a master I'll say that some of the verses were forced and / or used weaker than needed words. You probably could have trimmed a few verses out and still brought home the same point. BUT, the vast majority of the work was right on and, as I said, the message was killer.
Rita Garcia05/24/06
Message inspiring! Good job!
Anita Neuman05/24/06
If this was your idea of an experiment, then I'd have to say you've done REALLY well! Don't give up on poetry just yet - this is a fabulous start. A little polishing and practice (just like the honing you've done for articles & stories) is all it'll take. Keep at it, 'cause you seem to have a pretty good feel for it.
Beth Muehlhausen05/24/06
Especially liked the first stanza - you hooked me right off. :-)