The Official Writing Challenge
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Very well written. I've been on a few missions trips myself and you conveyed the emotions of the travelers very well. I liked the pace of the story. Each character was very believable. All in all, a great job!
05/12/06
What a wrenching story. I've seen helplessness and desperation but not like you've described. Strong!
05/12/06
This was powerful and really tugged at the emotions. I've read of the scene but you were able to breathe a bit more life into the visions. I'm not entirely sure that you needed to break the piece into sections like you did. You could have woven them together and just told the story in one setting. But it was effective the way you had it as well. Excellent skill, very strong message, and I loved the ending.
05/13/06
We used to leave our "good" garbage out on the front porch. Within minutes it would disappear - no doubt to reappear as part of someone's house in the village below us in Colombia, or sold to make a bit of money. The Gospel has feet and hands as well as a mouth. Thanks for the reminder. Well done.
You captured the emotions and frustrations and communicated the cleary. This was good writing.
This is a great story. I love the set up with the infatuated teen setting forth on her first mission trip to the end where she questions her motives. Well done!
05/15/06
Well written, heartfelt message, alive with the message of hope.
05/16/06
Such a desperate situation, so well described. A scene that always haunts. Well done.
05/16/06
Excellent work. I really enjoyed this. I loved your point about hope, but couldn't they bring some water too? Still, this is one of my favorites this week. :-)
Oooh, I agree, I wanted the water to be shared!! And gladly and generously! But I realize this is a realistic story about "the way things are." Well told. :-)