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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hope (05/04/06)

TITLE: One Small Man
By Joe Moreland
05/10/06


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Hope. It was all Jep could think of these days. As he sat in the Dingy Inn, it was the only thing on his mind. Hope. Hope seemed tough to remember these days. Hope was what kept him going, though, when all else failed.

He looked around the Dingy Inn. It wasn’t much to look at; the name said it all. A dirt floor; scattered long tables with benches; and a huge fireplace. Bad weather was definitely driving people indoors this evening, and the din was becoming deafening. Men were singing, laughing, arguing and yelling to be heard. The light was dim and the smoke chokingly thick.

A stranger who had plopped down next to him earlier leaned over and said something Jep couldn’t quite make out over the noise of the crowd.

“What?” He fairly roared back at the man. “I can’t hear you!”

“I said, are you Jep?” The man screamed back.

“Yes.”

“Hold on,” he turned towards the room and yelled out to the crowd, “You all quiet down!” Amazingly, several people nearby did. It wasn’t quite good enough for the man, though. He stood up and yelled again. “I said QUIET DOWN!” Now everyone stopped and looked their direction.

“That’s all. Thanks. I couldn’t hear a word my new friend here was saying. Go back to your business…just keep it at a low roar this time.”

The man turned back to Jep. “Now, you were saying…?”

“I was? Saying what?”

“I guess you’re right. I was saying wasn’t I?” The man chuckled. “Well, are you Jep or not?”

“I am, but how do you know my name?”

“Ike over there told me,” he said, indicating the innkeeper. “He also said you’re on your way to Jhent to see the king. Says you’re going to ask him to suspend taxation for one year. That right?”

Jep went back to his drink. He’d had this conversation several times over the last few weeks as he journeyed towards the capitol. When would he learn to keep his mouth shut?

“Yep.” He replied.

“Well,” the man said with a lopsided grin, “you must know the king pretty well then.”

Jep could tell they were gaining an audience. “I never met the man.” he said quietly.

“Never met him, you say? You must be related then. Is that royal blood flowing under that farmer’s rag you’re wearing?” The man’s grin was mocking. Laughter came from those closest.

Jep resigned himself to the fun they were about to have at his expense. “Nope. It’s farmer’s blood, same as the clothes. I’m just a plain, ordinary peasant who’s going to march into the king’s court on Justice Day and ask the king to give up a year’s worth of wealth so a few more of us might survive next winter. Go ahead, yuk it up.”

Jep could see he’d taken the air out of the man’s fun by hitting all the key points. The grin disappeared. “Son,” he practically whispered, “that’s suicide.”

“Maybe,” Jep answered, “but I’ve lost my whole family, save my little girl, the last few winters. I looked around for somebody to do something, I begged for somebody to do something; until I realized I’m the only one.”

“You? You’re the only one who can save us all? A farmer? Now why on earth would you think one small man can change things?”

“Who else? You? Them?” Jep challenged the room. “You’ve all lost loved ones to starvation and fevers brought on by winter. Which of you has a plan?”

Heads went down into their cups all across the room. “One man can’t do nothin’,” someone said.

“Not the one who never tries,” Jep replied. “Well if all the king does is execute me, at least I will have died trying to do something, instead of sitting home accepting my fate. I can’t believe God made me for that.”

Silence spread across the room like a plague. For once, Jep had shut them up. As he started to rise, the arm of the stranger shot out and grasped him. “Wait a moment, friend. Stay the night and rest. You can use my room.”

Grateful, Jep nodded.

The mocking was gone now. “A man like you going to Justice Day for us all,” he mused. “There may be hope yet.”

Jep thought about her again. Hope, his nine-year-old daughter. He looked the stranger in the eye, and saw reflected there the firmness of his own gaze.

“Hope is counting on me.”


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This article has been read 627 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jessica Schmit05/13/06
Great, great job. Your dialogue is superb! I loved how this story was about a man who lived his life based on hope. He had motivation, love and passion because of Hope and hope. Great writing, well crafed.
Lynda Schultz 05/13/06
I could see shades of the Lord in this one small man. Who else had a plan—certainly not one that worked. Good job.
Rita Garcia05/15/06
Creative and very well done!
Really loved reading this entry.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz05/15/06
This was excellent. I loved the ending. Thanks.
Crista Darr05/16/06
Great ending! Be careful not to repeat yourself too often. I saw some of that in the first two paragraphs. This is well done though. It ministers on many levels, not only the picture of Jesus, but also the encouragement that each individual can make a difference in this world.
Karen Treharne05/16/06
Well done. Your analogy of Jesus in this man struck a strong cord for me. It only takes one to make a change. Your writing is excellent in dialoguing. I reread the beginning after learning his daughter's name was Hope and appreciated your subtle use of Hope being this father's motivation. Clever and compelling to read. You held my attention throughout.
Rachel Rudd05/16/06
Incredible...wow...this story is just wow...you sucked me right in. I liked your scene descriptions in the beginning. You really set the stage for what was to come.
Cassie Memmer05/18/06
Congratulations, Joe! Great job! I'd looked for a hint for yours on the board, didn't find it. So I'm glad it was pointed out to me and I got to read it, it's great!
Helen Paynter05/18/06
Lovely creative piece. Great dialogue, and immensely readable. Strong mesage. Well done on HC
George Parler 05/20/06
Nicely done. It does suck you into the dialog. You look around and find yourself there. Congratulations on a job well done.

I did notice at least one typo. But it didn't distract from the reading one bit.
Beth Muehlhausen05/23/06
This challenges your reader for sure. Good points wrapped in convincing dialogue. Well done!


   
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