The Official Writing Challenge
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ok, I was kinda confused at first. You can write very well. I think this story needs a little polishing and it would be perfect. You did a great job though!
Great writing, but I needed to know what she had lost hope over. It feels like Part Two, and I want to read Part One!
This is a great story. I agree with the question about where she had lost hope. It sounded to me like she did everything she could do herself, and then trusted God to do his part. Good story.
An excellent story, but it had a strange pace. I haven't decided yet whether it helps or hinders. On the one hand, I finished it thinkng it felt strange, like a story that had been told to me, rather than read. On the other hand, I started reading, and continued to read all the way to the end, almost compelled to do so. More and more, I become convinced that even stories written in a style that's not really to my taste can be compelling and excellent. Go figure. Who knew? :>)