Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hope (05/04/06)

TITLE: Tree Well
By Karen Treharne
05/08/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

It was a gloriously clear day and a perfect ending to a long get-away weekend. The overnight snowfall had provided a layer of fine powder which was like icing on a cake.

Marcy crisscrossed down the mountain, soaking in the warmth of the sun and the pristine beauty of her surroundings. This was her third and final run of the day and even though she could feel the strain in her legs, she was completely unprepared for what happened next.

Without warning, Marcy found herself upside down and completely vertical with nothing in her sight except white. She wiggled around to create a little breathing space which caused a sharp pain in her chest. She yelled, but her mouth just filled with snow.

She tried to squelch the feeling of an imminent panic attack, but only succeeded in becoming angry. With the realization that she was actually buried alive, Marcy lost all hope that anyone would find her in time. She slowly lost consciousness but made one last attempt to move her legs above the snow, and gave herself up to God’s will.

As Peter Davis, a longtime member of the mountain ski patrol, plowed through the snow, he caught sight of a slight movement out of the corner of his right eye. He stopped to check it out. That’s when he realized that two legs were barely moving near a tree.

He immediately recognized that a skier had fallen into a tree well. He had to act quickly. The skier was trapped by the collapsed air pocket and would probably lose consciousness within minutes.

He kicked off his skis and pulled and dug the snow from around the skier‘s legs. He knew he would have a better chance if he another pair of hands, but since he was off duty, he had no radio to call for help and no one was within shouting distance.

Davis fought the snow that fell back into the hole almost as fast as he dug it out, but didn‘t stop. Working against the clock, he was relieved when he had dug enough to pull Marcy out. He was stunned when he saw her. There, unconscious with lips blue from the cold, was his wife.

He thought Marcy had skied down to the lift, and he chastised himself because he knew better than to let her ski alone. “God forgive me.”

Terror and alarm spurred him into action. Marcy’s jaw was clamped shut, so Pete had to give her mouth-to-nose resuscitation, praying all the while for God’s mercy that she would respond. After what seemed like an hour, he felt her shallow breathing on his cheek, and then her eyes opened. He hugged and kissed her, but didn’t waste time on words. “You’re going to be okay, honey. Don’t try to talk, just hold on.”

He rigged a makeshift stretcher to push her ahead of him down the slope. He didn’t relax until they reached the bottom and she was safely aboard an ambulance on her way to a hospital.

Even though Marcy suffered from pneumonia and was black and blue around painful ribs, she was thankful to be alive. She prayed that God would forgive her for losing hope, thanked Him for Pete’s alertness, and asked for better sense hereafter when she went skiing.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 666 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jessica Schmit05/12/06
ok, I was kinda confused at first. You can write very well. I think this story needs a little polishing and it would be perfect. You did a great job though!
Lynda Schultz 05/13/06
Great writing, but I needed to know what she had lost hope over. It feels like Part Two, and I want to read Part One!
Dr. Sharon Schuetz05/14/06
This is a great story. I agree with the question about where she had lost hope. It sounded to me like she did everything she could do herself, and then trusted God to do his part. Good story.
Joe Moreland05/15/06
An excellent story, but it had a strange pace. I haven't decided yet whether it helps or hinders. On the one hand, I finished it thinkng it felt strange, like a story that had been told to me, rather than read. On the other hand, I started reading, and continued to read all the way to the end, almost compelled to do so. More and more, I become convinced that even stories written in a style that's not really to my taste can be compelling and excellent. Go figure. Who knew? :>)