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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Love (04/27/06)

TITLE: Paradise Lost in Translation
By Linda Germain
05/03/06


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(No Sonnet From The Portuguese)

How was I loved by thee?
Let me count the ways.

You loved me in a shallow place
Painted in a garish light with brush
Of fear and spite and hateful color
Hidden by pretension's veil.

You loved me in the dark of storm
With crashing strikes and booming
Voice, a threat to life and limb
To trusting mate and others, small

You loved me, a prisoner bound, victim
Of your ups or downs as you strove for wrong
To break my spirit and my mind -what's left,
To fend off words and blows

You loved me, tainted by deep grief attached
And toxic from your youth; a scary place
Pushed back, but waiting on the edge to claim
What faith there was, pummeled without mercy

In my ignorant endurance I was
Trapped by some ungodly, passed down web
Woven in an evil pattern without a
Shred of Gospel Truth, but only hurt…

The word, unmasked, did not apply
To the lie I bought so cheap and yet believed.
(Maybe lust, then power and control
But not what Jesus taught and lived)

If agape's key had not unlocked the chain
You placed around my heart,
And if I had bled from wounds never soothed
Or no one came to lead me through the endless dark
With compassion's lamp

And if my never rescued life had ebbed away,
All in vain - No testimony to what little strength
It took to stand once I saw a pure example of
What real Love is supposed to be…

Left to die, surrendered,
Useless, overcome
By an unjust sentence,
Inflicted, but not chosen

To be like Him, at the death,
The best I would have had to offer
In forgiveness and release is simply this:

Perhaps you should have "Loved" me less…

***

*Note:Antithesis to Sonnets From the Portuguese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning who wrote, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…"


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This article has been read 1274 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Anita Neuman05/04/06
This was a fascinating read. Such depth of emotion, wrapped in very precise, well-chosen words. Great job!
Debbie OConnor05/05/06
Excellent! I love the message and the presentation. The pure, true love of Christ sets us free. The controlling facade an abuser calls love is anything but--let them love less, indeed. Beautiful work.
Helen Paynter05/07/06
Great poem, mre from each reading. My only niggle is that the allusion to the Portugese Sonnet at the beginning distracted me all the way through the first reading, becasue I couln't undrstand it. Of coure, when I got to the foornote, it all made sense. (Of course, it's very ignorant of me not to have picked up the allusion! Tell me I'm not the only one LOL)
Purity Snowe05/09/06
Very well done. I needed the footnote so I'm glad it was there. I love the structure and it was a powerful writing!
Maxx .05/09/06
Very strong, very nice. I really liked this!
Suzanne R05/10/06
Very clever! Well done - great writing.
dub W05/10/06
Maxx said it best - very strong, well done.
Rita Garcia05/10/06
Creative and well done!