Against all advice, she was going to do this her way.
Yes, there had been many times when she didn’t want to handle a situation – but it never mattered what she wanted. Life allowed her no choices. This was one time though; life wasn’t going to win against her.
She found what was missing in her life. A future with a clear goal – a future for both of them.
Reviewing the smallest details of her plans, she closed her eyes against the crisp white pillow releasing some of the anxiety pent up inside. She reached underneath for the letter she’d written that same day, holding it to her heart until tears stopped their pain. Tears for what had never been; tears for what will always be. Love – for both of them.
Lara Trent had finally come to terms with her life. Not bad for a 16 – almost 17yr. old, passed around from foster home to foster home.
A slight knock at the door prompted her to hide the letter. ‘Miss Trent, I’m Nurse Linda. It’s 12:30.’ she said as she walked in with a swaddled bundle of tiny arms stretching above a pink blanket. ‘She’s a good baby – she’s beautiful. Is there anything I can get you? Juice? Water? More Ice?’
‘No thank you.’ Lara mumbled as she took her baby. ‘I’m fine.’
The nurse laid a hand on Lara’s arm and bent to speak as she adjusted the embroidered blanket off the baby’s head. ‘Thank you Miss Trent.’
Lara stiffened, weary of one more judgment. What did this lady mean? What does she know?
‘I’ll be back later. You just enjoy your beautiful little girl.’
Lara laid her baby on her chest to feel the movement of tiny life once again. Does she remember my heartbeat? It feels so good to have my body back! I’ll name her Lauren – sort of like my own name.
Time was filled with watching this bundle of wonder. Exactly at 1:00, Nurse informed her of visitors and her foster mom, hesitating for a lingering second at the door. Lara adjusted the handmade blanket, holding her baby close. Their eyes locked, Nurse smiled and stepped aside.
Peace entered and fell upon the small gathering, soothing a quickened heart. Smiles and hope filled the room – lighting upon the baby in her arms.
The door quietly closed. No names were exchanged.
This was something she had to do herself. She wanted her baby to know how much she loved her. ‘I have this letter I wrote so one day if you want too, you can give it to her if she has any questions. I left it open so you can read it. It explains everything … Mom, would hold the baby a minute please?’ Lara struggled out of bed, tired and sore.
She took her little girl, kissed the top of her head, and laid new life in the arms of the parents she knew God had picked out just for her. ‘Thank you.’ they choked into her silky brown hair as they hugged this precious teenager. ‘One day, she’ll know … we promise.’ The father put his arm around his new family to take them home. Joy left the room.
Anxiety finally took its toll. Lara’s foster mom reached out to ease the pain of this brave young lady, but Lara just wanted to get out – to leave now! She needed to keep moving – like she had done all her life. Something her baby will never have to do.
Another knock – Nurse peeked around the door, ‘May I come in?’
‘Sure.’ Lara said while stuffing an overnight bag.
Nurse walked over by the window and looked out at a bright summer day, listening to frenzied activity behind her … then turned and said, ‘Thank you Miss Trent.’ She quickly turned back to the window.
Lara stopped and stared at busy hands adjusting the curtains.
‘I’m adopted.’ Nurse sighed, ‘I’ve never been able to find my birthmother to thank her. I have a wonderful family because of her.’ She turned and looked into the eyes of too much sadness, ‘I hope she was just like you. I’d like to think so. Thank you Miss Trent – for loving your daughter so much.’
Lara stood quiet, tears began to fill her eyes; each blink sent them trailing down pale cheeks.
Nurse Linda walked over and placed an arm on shoulders that didn’t resist, then pulled her close to hold a trembling little girl …
… and Lara cried.
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