The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Wonderful story, and movingly portrayed. It would be easier for the reader, perhaps, not to have to do subtraction to figure out the chronological order. I think the breathtaking scene at the end of his life, with the angels witnessing the bonding with Jesus, would make the strongest finale. Well worth reading; a good nugget here for polishing and future publication!
05/07/06
Excellent piece. I agree that I would prefer the order to be chronological, but no bg deal. Only a minor niggle - how did he know the man had been healed? Distracted me a bit.
05/11/06
Great story Robin. Just want you to know I was touched by this story and, as a judge, rated it in my top three. --So I'm looking for something different -- which I hope you see as a good thing :-)
Blessings
Al