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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Love (04/27/06)

TITLE: In the hands of men
By Helen Paynter


I stumble to his side, propelled by need
To see him; reap the harvest of my lust.
My head is throbbing, feverish; I plead
As my arousal swamps my self-disgust.
His face! It burns with passion and desire,
And in my ear, his urgent whispered sighs.
His lips ignite! My skin is set on fire,
Consuming love is patent in his eyes.
I blend into his arms, my darling boy,
Extend my neck, abandoned to the game,
Surrender to the rising tide of joy,
‘Again, again!’ He blindly wields my name.
His passion spent, he rolls away from me -
But I am soiled by my insanity.

Stone her!
There’s no excuse.
Jesus -
Trap him!
Put her to use.

I stumble to his feet, cast by their greed
To see me reap the harvest of my lust.
My head is throbbing, silently I plead,
But he is slowly writing in the dust.
His face! Reveals compassion but inspires
Dismay that all I am he must despise.
His lips speak peace! My heart is set on fire -
Forgiving love is patent in his eyes.
They blend into the crowd, he’s spoiled their ploy,
My head hangs in embarrassment and shame -
Surrender to the rising tide of joy,
‘Go, sin no more,’ he softly speaks my name.
His message sent, he walks away from me -
And I am whole, restored to sanity.

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This article has been read 1511 times
Member Comments
Member Date
darlene hight05/04/06
Beautiful story. I love your capture of it. Well done!
Alexandra Wilkin05/05/06
One of the things I love about your writing is how it does not flinch. There is both craft and scalpel in the weaving of your words - and I really like this. I love how you have got under the skin of the woman, captured the essense of the pharisee's desire to use this woman against Jesus. My comment is that I feel it could be longer. But this really is lovely. God bless.
Jessica Schmit05/05/06
impressive. I'm always excited to read stories that people have stepped out of thier "normal" boxes to write. This is one of them. I never knew you were a poet!!! Great. Beautiful. Intoxicating. One problem. "I stumble to his feet, cast by their greed." I don't know if it was just me, but I had to read this sentence a few times before undestanding that "his feet" wasn't a typo, but actually was referring to Jesus' feet. But I'm being picky. Great job!
Sherry Wendling05/05/06

This is a knockout piece. You took on the woman's character and emotions marvelously. And it's so richly crammed with skillful description. "...soiled by my insanity"--wow, one tiny phrase, packed full with layers of meaning. For maximum punch, you might want to describe the encounter with Jesus taking her beyond restoration to sanity, into a place she'd never experienced before. Great writing!
Kenny Blade05/05/06
This was very well done. I think the lack of length actually strengthened it as anything longer would have felt like you were searching for rhymes so to speak. It was a simple 180 - Lost then Found. Great piece!
Jan Ackerson 05/06/06
This is just incredible; a beautiful, beautiful bit of wordcraft.
david grant05/06/06
Well crafted words! Good job.
Rachel Rudd 05/09/06
Very well written...I didn't get it at first, but I liked the paralell comparison of the sin and the forgiveness in the words of the poem.
Dr. Sharon Schuetz05/09/06
Beautiful description of His merciful love.
Linda Watson Owen05/09/06
Oh, WOW! What a powerful and...well, I'm at a loss to describe how truly incredible this poem is!! Absolutely 'stops you in your tracks' terrific!! Masterful!! I'm gushing for good reason, Helen...WOW!!
Linda Germain 05/09/06
Beautifully done! A+
Marilyn Schnepp 05/10/06
Very creative entry. I loved it! However, needs a scripture reference so those that are not familiar with this beautiful story from the Bible, can read and understand this beautifully written poetic form of that woman, that time and place...and how it weaves the story in poetic form. Very Very Good!
Donna Powers 11/07/06
I really was blown away by this poem and by how well the two sonnets took the same pattern and perfectly illustrated this story. Excellent!
Amy Michelle Wiley 11/07/06
Powerfully written. Well done!