The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/06/06
This would be a great story if the subject was "loathing."
Feels like it needs a few more paragraphs to settle things.
05/07/06
Hmmm...uncomfortable story - not quite sure what it was saying to me. Not that every story has to have a moral, but every story does have a message, and I'm not quite sure I agree with the message of this one. Well written, though.
05/08/06
"Lucy marched over to Phyllis’s house two days before" makes it sound as if Lucy was planning something even before anything happened. I'm not sure what the message is, though. I just feel like something is missing. I see potential in this.
05/08/06
Nicely written but it is lacking in message. However, your talent as a writer is evident.
05/08/06
Nicely written but it is lacking in message. However, your talent as a writer is evident.
05/10/06
....and the moral of the story is... the writing is very good, I just didn't get into the "pay back" bit, I guess. Thanks for sharing, however.