The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
There is a great message in here. The last stanza is great. But I had problems getting past the visual of the piece ... a long line of "you" was tough to look at. The points are all fantastic, but I felt the repeating "you" was overdone. That said, this piece still has a lot to offer. It's got some gems burried in there. Nice creative attempt, but I fear just a touch wide of the mark.
I like this. I don't have a problem with the You You You... except it reminds me of my Dad talking to me! (kidding Dad!) This is creative and totally cool!
Aren't we amazingly created?! Thanks.
YOU gave me a lot to think about, alot to ponder, and alot to digest. Very creative and a lot of incredible truth to it all. God is the center of all we do, all we think...Great Job!
Blimey - talk about food for thought! I actually really liked all the 'you's' - it puts me on the spot, challanges me. This one made me sit up and take notice. Well done! God bless.
I think the most important line is "Thy will..." and it's very effective to have it stand out in all of the "yous". I'm sure that was your intent--the reader's eyes are constantly drawn to that line. Thy will--Thy will...

Very, very good.