The Official Writing Challenge
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04/27/06
Great interpretation of an relatively obscure part of scripture. Thank you...I shall have to go and look it up later.
04/27/06
What a great reminder that our strength comes from the Lord. Delightful characterization for both Rayna and Jeremiah. I wonder about the twig, will she use that as an illustration when she retells the story to her family and friends? On the knocker topic wise! Creative and educational retelling of the Bible story.

04/27/06
Love the retelling, love the character. I think that held me back from really getting into this 100% was the use of an omniscient POV as opposed to being firmly inside of Rayna's or Jeremiah's head. Sapped a little of the emotion from it. Aside from that, maybe trim a couple of adverbs. But the story was right on theme, great demonstration of inner strength, and had a perfect ending. This will score well.
04/28/06
Wonderful imaginative story-telling.
04/28/06
I didn't quite get all this one... but then I usually miss a lot! So, not unusual!I liked the story and it kept me reading to the end. I wonder what she'll do with the stick?
04/29/06
This made me go and read the story! An iron pen - wow!

The author put us in the middle of the crowd to experience the whole range of emotions of that time. I loved it! Historical fact/fiction might be this author's niche!

I enjoyed the layers of messages while the topic stayed strong throughout - genius!

Loved, loved the read!
05/01/06
This is marvelous, and a great way to make a little-known Bible story come to life!

Quite a few of your sentences begin with "-ing" verb phrases. Consider a greater variety of sentence structures, perhaps?

The characterizations of Rayna and Jeremiah are beautifully done, and I could really put myself in the scene with the sights, sounds, even odors!
05/01/06
Excellent! You have done a great job with imagery and characterization. I liked this a lot!
Beautiful! Those who depend on God find all they need when times are hard. Nothing can separate them from the One who supplies their need.

I do think entering Rayna's POV would bring us closer to the action. I also do not like scripture references in the text. I think it is less distracting to use an asterisk and list it at the end.

Great work. :)
05/02/06
Wow, you are like Rayna, bringing Jeremiah's message from the Lord to us. Excellent.
Wonderful treatment of this great prophet in the OT!! I felt like I was 'right there'! Loved it!
I love Biblical fiction! Good job! I had never thought much about the iron pen, either.
05/10/06
Wow, this one really spoke to me too, jiejie. I think this might become a new favourite bit of scripture thanks to your retelling of it!