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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Inner Strength (04/20/06)

TITLE: Spine of Steel
By Helen Paynter
04/22/06


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History is balanced on the point of his resolve.

In the crowded room, he is alone. It is overgrown with tangles of admirers, but his unshared dilemma has driven him into the wasteland.

Despite his internal struggles, there is little to betray his agitation. Just a lightlessness within his eyes.

He stands silent, scrutinized.

Yes, this is a junction moment. So many lives in the balance. An opportunity to alter the lot of millions. Forever.

Does he have the courage to set it in motion? The backbone to see it through?

He can sense gimlets of indecision boring little holes in his determination.

The eyes of his closest followers are upon him. How willingly they have danced upon the cutting edge of his radical polemics. Yet what do they really grasp of the sacrifice in prospect? They have sworn fatal loyalty. But how faithful will they be when the soldiers arrive?

And what of the crowd? The thousands that flock to hear him. They need a shepherd to lead them softly to sanity. How greedily they lap at the draught he delivers. But the steel of popularity is double-edged. So keen the partition between love and hate. They were eager to offer a crown. What if they discover that his brand of kingship is not to their taste?

Satan smirks in the periphery of his vision. He must not underestimate the enemy. In every corner, behind every sycophant, it lurks, subtle and perilous.

Sweet victory flaunts her charms. Her price will be immeasurable. But how glittering the prize.

He will not admit fear into his reasoning. Nor pity. The strong will triumph by courage and determination. And he is strong. Unbending instrument of purity.

Give me the papers.

He takes up his pen, weapon of mass destruction, and incises the document with his signature: Adolph Hitler.


It is good to have a spine of steel
but only if your feet are on the Rock.



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This article has been read 852 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Stevie McHugh04/27/06
You have a great writing style, but I am strongly opposed to the suggestion that Hitler had inner strength. In my estimation, he was the biggest coward in history. I'm probably missing something here...
Jessica Schmit04/27/06
WOW! Shock factor! This is incredible. Great job. I loved how you twisted inner strength and showed how someone can still receive inner strength through other sources. And ultimately, the death that comes when we turn to other sources for our strength. Incredible. One note, I was confused when satan appeared. I thought satan was the person in the story until a few sentances later. But besides that, great job!
Pat Guy 04/27/06
Excellent writing and progression of story!

I would liked to have seen more of Hitler's alliance with Satan. I know you were going for the shock factor which worked great - but since Hitler represents all that is evil, your message could have been stronger about the difference between evil power and Godly strength by weaving Satan in there a few more times.

Great word useage and visuals!
Corinne Smelker04/28/06
WOW - this is incredible - definitely no fan of Hitler, but I don't think he was coward. I liked the way you intertwined him with Satan.
Jan Ackerson 04/29/06
You teetered at the brink of giving Hitler positive qualities (determination, courage), but I think you pulled it off by the end of your piece. Definitely a shocker, and thought-provoking!
Alexandra Wilkin04/30/06
Oh wow. You have gone out on a limb with this - and you have really pulled it off. This is powerful and evocative; I love the crafting of the words (a couple of nit picks about word choice perhaps) but this is tight and the message is clear. I would really like to see this expanded to give a little more room to the relationship between Hitler and Satan. My deepest respect to you for this. Excellent. God bless.
Sandra Petersen 05/01/06
I am speechless over the masterful way you showed that a person who is forever linked with evil has a type of inner strength, but not based on the proper foundation. Wow!

I agree with the thoughts about the interaction between Satan and Hitler. A little more would have shown us Hitler's descent into the occultic foundation of his Nazi Socialist government.

A very tightly worded piece! The competition in this level is definitely heating up!
Linda Watson Owen05/01/06
Wow, again! What a stunner at the end!! Hats off to a very skillful writer!!!
Jean Elizabeth 05/01/06
Wow - I was completely surprised. The build-up was intense. Very skillful writing.
Rita Garcia05/01/06
Fantastic Entry, perfect build up and you delivered at the end. Great read!
Maxx .05/03/06
Masterfully crafted. Highly skilled writer. This is most excellent! Wonderful. :-)

That said, I didn't think the last lines fit the rest of the piece. You made your case effectively and dramatically without telling us the "moral" or "point" that you were trying to make. Trust me, the reader, to understand that which you so skillfully had just demonstrated. Is it enough to hurt your chances in the judging? I doubt it. I'd rate this high across the board.


   
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