The Official Writing Challenge
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04/13/06
Amazing contrast between the two lives presented. It had a real feel for me, I've spent much of the last seven years babysitting for others. Well done.
04/13/06
Very nice choice of verbs..loved the rice descriptions. The contrast was nice clear. Good writing!
04/14/06
I was a tad dissapointed that I was all set up to see the husband's reaction to the special dinner, and then the story changed angles. However, I too liked the contrast of the two lives. My heart always breaks for the children like Tristan. Great job!
04/15/06
A perfect recipe indeed - loved the contrast, and where fulfilment really lay. Well done.
04/15/06
Loved this! Jim's "blissful sleep" speaks volumes, as does his three helpings of C. Chicken(Hmmm...sounds good).Very,very well written; one of my favorites.
04/17/06
This was a really good story--and I particularly loved the first 3 paragraphs. Somehow, they just really grabbed me, the escaping rice, her graceful way of salvaging the situation...it really made me smile.
Pat Guy  
04/17/06
This made me feel sorry for Tristan. The obvious point is well done - but you also did a good job of presenting another obvious point - Tristan.
04/17/06
I, too, was inpressed by your excellent choice of verbs & you also did a great job of comparing the two women and their lives.
04/17/06
Nice job and a good message. Very good descriptive technique. I really enjoyed it.
04/17/06
I really enjoyed this too. The beginning was full of great descriptive language that pulled me right in.

As Amy pointed out though, I was also a bit disappointed that the story started out about the husband, but then was all about the kids. It almost felt like there were two stories joined in the middle.

I also noticed the line "...but I'm sure Josh would love to bring him along.” either has the wrong name or should be 'love to come along.' Overall, great writing and very clear, believable characters.
04/17/06
What a gift you have for capturing 'real life' in real writing! Your writing truly lives and breathes! Great lessons in the use of contrast here.
04/17/06
I know those people! This was a wonderful story - very realistic and enjoyable to read. Great job depicting the two very different women. The abrupt transition at the end to Jim asleep in bed was a little disappointing but other than that I really liked it!
04/18/06
Two very different women, both looking for fulfillment in two opposite directions - one finding it in faith and family...while one still searches aimlessly for that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...that doesn't exist. Poor Tristan is caught in the middle. Great Write and entertaining Read. Nice job on the subject of fulfillment.
04/18/06
Your characters are impeccable and deliver the message - powerfully!
04/18/06
I'm glad Kathy didn't feel that her life was less than successful because of her friend's talk about vacationing in exotic places. There is something to be said for a loving home and family. I loved the dialogue.
04/21/06
As, you know I am leaving my carrer here shortly to be a full time mommy. this story helped put it all in perspective and remind me that I am doing the right thing. Thanks!! As always, Brilliant!