The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 704 times
Member Comments
The title...should be "TOO far gone". (spelling) Your grammar also needs to be checked more carefully, and the paragraphing. However, the message was there...just needs editing. I would suggest you start in a lower level, and then work yourself up to Advanced.
You have a great start here, definitely consider expanding it to a full-length short story. These are characters with really interesting stories to tell.
The pain is obvious...and yet there is hope here. A few grammatical changes (verb tenses and sentence structure) would help the reader...but I agree that this could be a story to expand and develop. Maybe I'm reading between the lines, but If you have the Lord and your family doesn't, that's everything. :-)
Thank you for this brief,
though powerful glimpse into
'real' life. Continue to
write! Writing style, grammar, and sense of voice
comes with practice. Also, I
sincerely advise you to encourage your siblings seek professional help. I have had suicide in my family, and any mention of it needs to be taken extremely seriously.