The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 991 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/14/06
A beautiful, wonderful tribute to the topic of fulfillment! I loved the idea of a "straw doll" type heart. Nicely written...and if true, you deserve a Crown with many stars. God Bless.
04/14/06
What an incredibly beautiful story. My children, all youths now, visit a nursing home in our area as part of a ministry project witho our church (Don't you just hate the term 'ministry project'?) With your permission I'd like to give a copy of this story to our youth minister to share with the group. Thank you for touching my heart.
04/14/06
This is masterfully written, with some very compelling phrases...I loved it! I wonder if you'd consider ending it with "...and visited only Lena." After that, the sparkle fizzles a bit, and I think it's wise to allow your reader to draw a few conclusions. Your way with words is unmistakable, and this story is a real blessing.
04/14/06
YOu shared with us a real picture of the need in nursing homes... I was a social worker for awhile in one and could see my own Lena. Very compelling story.
My grandmother lived in a nursing home and my mom and aunt went everyday to care for her. During my visits I met some Lena's, usually no visitors would ever come. I'm sure Lena looked forward to you coming! Powerful story!
04/15/06
Really powerful writing. Great stuff
04/15/06
This really struck a chord with me. I worked in a nursing home for a short time in the early years of my career. Holidays and Sundays were prime for well meaning groups to come with their "straw hearts" , read a few words, sing a song and then leave. It sounds horrible to say, but most of us HATED those well-meaning visits.
Where were they when 3 of us had to feed 12 helpless ones or spend valuable time chasing after confused or destructive patients who would have been easily quieted with a one-on-one story or song or walk...even a hair brushing. Group after weary group traipsing in and out at Christmas to sing one more "Deck the Halls" and then leave, feeling FULFILLED because they came to our smelly place for ten minutes, was a powerful message to a very young woman with more work to do than one shift could hold. THANKS for this wonderful eye-opening story! Excellent.

(I love the "straw-heart" image)
Beautiful, convicting and humbling. I don't know if any other thing that I've read so far could describe better the word 'fulfillment'. It is true Christianity.
04/17/06
I agree that this is an excellent piece. I love the message. I love your openness with your own struggles. Please, proof-read your work. Make it perfect! Your writing style is fantastic!!
Favorite line: "Lena tore up my straw doll and challenged me to be real." This is the bottom line, isn't it?!?!
04/19/06
A reality we don't want to face - so we don't, but your story and excellent writing take us 'there.' Poignant.