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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Lock (03/06/06)

TITLE: The Heart of Lucinda Druell
By Kenn Allan
03/12/06


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The village known as Potters Glen,
Had one abiding jewel,
A beauty rare, yet pure of heart,
Her name—Lucinda Druell.

Around her throat, three polished keys,
Of copper, brass, and gold,
Adorned a fragile silver chain—
A treasure to behold!

When asked to what those keys belonged,
Her eyes would flash with fun,
She'd lay the charms across her palm,
Then clench them tight, as one.

"The first belongs to Heaven’s gate,
Which waits beyond the skies.
The second keeps my virtue safe,
Should impure thoughts arise.

“The third unlocks my virgin heart,
For true love to possess.”
And if men asked which key was which,
She’d tease, “You’ll have to guess.”

My summers passed with soul possessed;
Oh! love can be so cruel!
I dared not whisper my desire,
for sweet Lucinda Druell.

One autumn's eve, a devil flew,
To roost in Potters Glen,
Enchanting women with his charms,
And tempting hearts of men.

His eyes beheld Lucinda's soul,
So innocent within,
And with his smooth beguiling words,
Persuaded her to sin.

No sooner was her fall complete,
Lucinda screeched in pain,
She grabbed the keys around her neck,
And tore them from the chain.

"My copper key has turned to lead,
My key of brass to rust,
My golden key no longer shines!"
She flung them to the dust.

"I nevermore shall play the fool,
Of those who would entice!"
And then she tightly locked her heart,
And sheathed her soul in ice.

For me, that night, Lucinda died;
She vanished with the breeze,
To haunt the shadows of the night,
And lurk among the trees.

Her legend spread both near and far—
The Vamp of Potters Wood,
Who craved the lusts of righteous men,
And sullied all she could.

Despite all this, I sought a way,
To save her from her plight,
But whilst I walked by light of day,
Lucinda prowled by night.

With winter came the tawdry tales,
Which like the snowfall spread—
Lucinda dwelt on Widows Hill,
Consorting with the dead.

I wrapped myself in cloak and scarf,
To brave the wicked snow,
And pocketed three tiny keys,
Abandoned long ago.

The raging storm around me swirled,
To freeze my noble cause,
The trees above me scratched the sky,
With gnarled and craggy claws.

I soon ascended Widows Hill,
But near its dark plateau,
A specter loomed against the night,
And threw me to the snow!

Her raven hair was wildly tossed,
Her eyes were icy flame,
I smelled her putrid shroud of sin,
And heard her hiss my name.

“So you have come,” Lucinda said,
Her voice like crackling frost,
“Remain with me forevermore,
And dwell among the lost.”

From where I sat in frozen fear,
My thoughts in disarray,
Three tiny keys slid from my coat;
Lucinda looked away.

Repentance glistened in her eyes,
And shame eclipsed her pride;
I understood and scooped the keys,
All scattered at my side.

“Hear me, O LORD,” I prayed aloud,
Above the howling gale,
“Bring comfort to Lucinda’s soul,
And let your peace prevail.

“Restore her key to Heaven’s gate,
May virtue once more thrive;
And heal the blemish on her soul,
Which keeps her guilt alive.”

I struggled on the frozen slope,
To rise upon my feet;
Lucinda cringed and backed away,
In hesitant retreat.

“Fear not, my love,” I reassured,
“Don’t lose yourself to blame;
The LORD forgives your wayward path,
Come back, from whence you came!”

I clenched the keys within my fist,
Before she could depart,
And lunged at her retreating form,
And held them to her heart.

A thankful moan escaped her lips,
She gave my fist a squeeze,
As melting ice poured from her chest,
And cleansed those tiny keys.

The copper, brass, and golden charms,
Shone brighter than before,
And in the glow of lessons learned,
I loved Lucinda more.

In early spring, we pledged our love,
Until death do us part,
And to this day I hold the key,
To sweet Lucinda’s heart.


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This article has been read 10282 times
Member Comments
Member Date
James Clem 03/13/06
Wonderful story and poem. I only know one FW with this mastery of poetic wordstyle. (I'll be very surprised if it's someone else.)
This one goes on my favorites list.
Amy Michelle Wiley 03/13/06
This is an awesome poem and awesome message. Well done!
Joe Moreland03/13/06
I'm no expert on poetry, but this one caught me up in its emotion. I love the imagery and style and the pace at which it moves. I also love the lesson of forgiveness, of redemption and how those who tempt other to the fall are assassins in a very real sense. You have a fine gift.
Jessica Schmit03/14/06
This is a masterpiece. I canno't even tell you in words how wonderful this is. Wow. I also believe it can be no other FW than ...? LOL Incredible. I'm printing this one out (if it's ok with you) Amazing.
Pat Guy 03/14/06
This is absolutely no fair! To have an entry like this sitting behind mine is .. is... no fair I say! Wait ... I need to wipe my tears to continue.

As I read, if this guy didn't go rescue her, I was going to hunt down this author. (as if I had far to look! ;))

And there is only one person I know who can get away with such a long poem and hold the reader captive. And if it's not that person, then double kudos to ya!
david grant03/15/06
We need a new level just for this author's work. How 'bout "Masters" level.

Jan Ackerson 03/15/06
Absolutely awesome--you have a true gift, and this poem is priceless.
Lynda Schultz 03/15/06
What more can be said … This is wonderful. I'm green with envy and pink with pride (for you). Great writing.
Phyllis Inniss 03/16/06
What a great poem in the style of those great poets of long ago. Beautifully written and so creative.
Mary Alice Bowles03/16/06
Poetry is my favorite and this is extremely wonderful!
Good Job!
Dara Sorensen03/17/06
This has got to be one of the best things I've read in awhile! It sounds like a great fairy tale with an awesome message!
Helen Paynter03/17/06
Wow, brilliant writing. I'm afraid I haven't worked out who you are, but I'm looking forward to finding out!
Shari Armstrong 03/17/06
Wow - some powerful images in this - very well done.
Suzanne R03/19/06
BRILLIANT!
Beth Muehlhausen03/20/06
Congrats!!! This is an amazing poem, to be sure. Lots of favorite lines, but this one really got to me: "As melting ice poured from her chest,
And cleansed those tiny keys." A well-deserved winner!!! :-)

Kate Wells03/20/06
Hauntingly beautiful!
congrats on your win... Kate~
Linda Watson Owen03/20/06
No surprise at all that this beautiful ballad with its timeless, haunting charisma came in first place! This is absolutely remarkable... perfectly exquisite! Thank you, Ken, for this special poem!!
Joyce Simoneaux03/20/06
Masterfully written! Congratulations!
Venice Kichura03/21/06
This is so awesome! You truly deserved your win!
Sally Hanan03/21/06
This was excellent! You really do have a gift for this kind of poetry, I hope you never stop writing it.
Benjamin Stephens03/22/06
Kenn,

Congrats on first place, my friend. If I had to draw a biblical parallel I would say this most closely connects with the story of Hosea and Gomer.

He came to take her home. This is a gift recognized.

Exceptional.
Sylvia Green Chatman03/26/06
Wow! This is a very touching poem.
Anita Neuman07/01/06
Congratulations on your fabulous win, King BoB! May this story stick in many people's hearts and minds and remind us all of the redeeming love of the Bridegroom.
Lynda Lee Schab 07/01/06
Congratulations, Kenn! As one of the BoB judges, this one and "Chicken Hearts" were two of my favorites. You definitely deserve the 2006 title of BoB!
I will be in touch soon for an interview.
Blessings, Lynda Schab
Pat Guy 07/01/06
Congratulations Kenn! This is the one I thought would do it! Your email will be busy for quite awhile - enjoy it Kenn. An awesome win for an awesome author and person. Love, Pat
Rita Garcia07/01/06
CONGRATULAIONS! On a well deserved BoB win! Writing with the Master's touch!
Maxx .07/01/06
Outstanding win! This is your best piece, in my opinion .... which actually counts, since I was a BoB judge! lol! You have demonstrated great precision and quality in your work. Well deserved! BoB is in good hands!
Debbie OConnor07/01/06
Lovely, wonderful, beautiful...there aren't enough adjectives to praise this work. I don't know how I missed it the first time around, but congratulations on a well deserved win. Excellent!
Karen Ward07/01/06
Fantastic Kenn, King BoB indeed, a well deserved win. Thanks for sharing your gift with us all!
David Story07/02/06
Not real big on poetry, yet even I can tell that this is something special. Congratulations.
terri tiffany07/03/06
Congrats on your win!!!
Rev. Toni Brown07/06/06
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. A GREAT WORK.
Kaylee Blake 07/06/06
Fantasic! Congrats!
Birdie Courtright07/06/06
Congratulations Kenn!I hope winning Best of The Best is proof that your talent is amazing!
Mary Lang07/07/06
This poem haunts me - it's a beautiful story, wonderfully told. You awe me with your consistently inspiring poetry. Congratulations on a deserved BoB win.
joy clarkson07/08/06
Such a lovely piece of literature. It touched a chord in my heart.
Rachel Rudd07/09/06
Wow, Kenn, this is awesome! Congratulations on the BoB! I hadn't read this piece of yours before, but I'm glad I got the chance to now. This story of redemption is so wonderfully written.

Bonnie Derksen07/12/06
Wow! I can hardly put into words how your poem has moved me. The captivating story written with such excellence has/is doing a work in my heart. I will be "chewing" on this food for awhile. As someone new to FW I am so thankful to have writers, like yourself, to aspire to. May God continue to annoint your pen.
Julianne Jones07/14/06
Wow! How did I not see this before? A masterpiece! Congrats on your well-deserved BoB win. I want to see this published!
enwongo-abasi okon07/16/06
this poem is really sweet. It encouraged me to strive to save someone from etenal doom if you can. And no matter what a person goes through, if he/she has truely repented, one can relate with the person.
Debbie Smith07/19/06
WOW! How Awesome! Very moving! Congratulations! You are gifted and deserve the win!
Henrietta W. Romman07/24/06
OH HALLELUJAH!
I DO PRAISE THE LORD FOR YOU...AND I THANK YOU FOR EMBRACING THE GIFT HE GAVE YOU SO SWEETLY AND EXPRESSIVELY..

I AM TOTALLY BLESSED..

DO KEEP UP THE GOODNESS YOU ARE SHARING WITH US...

FOR CHRIST...

HENRIETTA W. ROMMAN
Kaylee Blake 08/02/06
Congrats! This is an awesome piece, totaly deserving to be BOB.
Jan Kamp08/02/06
Well deserved win!! I have a tendency to gloss over poetry, but this kept me glued to the monitor all the way through. You've woven a powerful message with your mastery of words and symbolism.
Summer Cordon08/06/06
This is really amazing, Kenn; a fine piece of work.

Summer
Kaye Petts08/10/06
WOW!!! This is a powerful poem and full of truth. You have a gift given from our Father above. Thank you for being in tune to God's will for you and for being bold enough to share. God richly bless you. In Christ.....
Deborah Anderson08/11/06
In all honesty, this is one of the best I've ever read in this genre. Great word imagery, too. Amazing work.
Angela Winters-Turner08/19/06
Such talent is rare. Bravo!!!!
Val Clark08/21/06
Creative, pacy, engaging and challenging read! A well deserved BoB win!Yeggy.

Caitlynn Lowe08/27/06
I just now got around to reading this -- Wow! What a wonderful piece...Definitely deserves the recognition it has gotten. ^_^
Jamie glaser08/27/06
what an amazing poem! congrats on winning, and God bless
Connie Lavy09/12/06
Congratulations! It is a beautifully written and touching poem.
Everest Alexander09/12/06
I love poetry and this piece is AMAZING!!!

You completely captivated me with your powerful imagery and engaging pace.

As I read your work, Ken, I couldn't help but be transported back to Tolkien's Middle Earth.

This poem evokes strong images of times gone by when men were larger than life and heroic deeds were recounted in song.

Excellent work my friend!
Everest Alexander09/12/06
Please forgive the misspell, Kenn!

And thanks again for an AWESOME JOB!
Betsy Eno10/09/06
In a word, AWESOME! A well deserved win. Congratulations! As a newby to this club, I look forward to reading more of your work.
Claudette Wood10/12/06
My very first love in writing has always been poetry, and if I could just one time write something as spellbinding and beautiful as this, I'd still be doing it. What a wonderful story, how wonderfully told.
Peggy Bennitt10/13/06
This is great, Kenn! I love poetry, particularly longer poems that tell a story. (Is this narrative poetry?) Interesting to see the human struggle showcased in your Lucinda, and the restorative powers of repentence and forgiveness depicted with such intense description. The emotions hit me right between the eyes! Well done! Peg
Dervon Palmer10/16/06
This is so beautiful. I felt my heart twitch as i read it. Way to go.
Tina Stawicki10/22/06
Amazing! How sweet Gods grace truely is. This work touched me deeply. I was able to relate to Lucinda from verse one to the very last. How blessed you are with such a wonderful gift! Thank you!
suzana bivins10/26/06
This is soooo beutiful, that i almost cry. Great job and keep writing more poems like this.
Renie Porter11/04/06
This is an amazing poem of the redemption of the heart. I was deeply moved by its truth and beauty. It's worth reading several times, each reading revealing more than the last. I loved the imagery. Well done!
Monique Fox11/22/06
Wow! What a nice poem. Can you please post more wonderful poems at Poetry and Poets of God: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/poetryandpoetsofgod/
Shanti Singh11/23/06
This is absolutely beautiful. How many fall into sin and then run from God. It's beautiful to know that no matter what, He always seeks to save us.
Crystal Dueck11/23/06
WoW . . that was breathtaking. so touching... and so vivid. i just looove it!!! ~crys~
Rai Chaze11/28/06
How beautiful! this poem will carry me all day long.
Thank you!
God bless you!
Rai,
a tahitian poet
DeBorrah K. Ogans12/27/06
This is a wonderfully written poetic story expressing the pitfalls and enticement of sin and its sorrow. Yet leaves you enlightened, refreshed and encouraged to seek the forgiving and cleansing power of the Holy Spirit that lies within the believer. Bravo!!!

DeBorrah K. Ogans
adelina tomino01/18/07
Gosh, tears are falling from my eyes!
This is really a great piece!
Nina Phillips01/29/07
I love poetry. This is truly a classic. Artfully written, and captivating peice. Congrats to you and many blessings. littlelight
Noreen Ophoff01/31/07
Love and forgiveness are very powerful, thanks for pointing all of us to those truths.
Dianne Jenkins02/12/07
This is an "Excellent" poem. I commend the writer. It flows, had great depth and insight. Holds the reader interest. You deserved to win.

An fascinating writing.
Patricia Casey02/21/07
I see why this entry won. A brilliant and captivating story of guilt, love, and forgiveness. I was blessed to read this today.

In Jesus' Name,

Patricia
Tammy S. Eudy02/21/07
I really enjoyed this poem!!!
Keep Writing.
Mark Drinnenberg02/28/07
Thank you so much for that story. Wow. All I can say is, "Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace." And as far as your writing style goes, I found it flawless. Perfect rhyme and meter in poetry seem to be so rare these days, and you expressed your story with both.
Cala Elliott03/20/07
Wow, this is amazing! I cried! This is such a blessing. I am thoroughly impressed.
Diane Brathwaite03/29/07
I do not recall ever having read anything as beautiful as this. What an exemplary work of art! I was completely engrossed as this amazing story unfolded, and was able to easily visualize each event. It flowed and rhymed beautifully. This truly deserves recognition and award. Well done!!!
Hollis Jones03/29/07
This was so wonderful. I had a smile after reading it. I had to read it to may wife it was just so good.
Helen Dowd 04/02/07
No wonder you won first place. This is a fantastic poem. Who but a professional poet could come anywhere near it! It held me spell-bound from start to finish. It was a bit along the line of Robert Service's ballads, only with a spiritual twist to it. I want to say more, but words fail me. Congratulations! You deserve them.
paula pinto04/04/07
This poem is a masterpiece! The way you put it all together and had the reader feel what Lucinda was feeling was truly amazing!! Keep up the fantastic writing!
Donna Anderson04/05/07
Wow. It's been a long, long time since I've been here, Kenn, and this piece has put such a longing in my soul to write again. It's lovely. Thank you.
Marc Smith04/06/07
Wow...that's all I can say....wow.
Cindy Jones04/08/07
This was wonderfuly touching! I was amazed and caught up in the story .. Excellent write.
Raquel Soto05/02/07
This was so beautiful! I'm glad I stopped to read it. It inspired me.
-Roc
Vickie Thomas05/04/07
This is absolutely awesome. Just the kind of poetry I love. what a fabulous flow of words. Good poetry makes me sooooo excited. Wonderful job. May God continue to bless the work of your hands.
Vickie
Bruce MacKinnon05/13/07
beautiful in its simplicity and simple message, a true gem.

A Chistian Edgar Allen Poe- truely amazing.
Doris Thompson05/16/07
I don't know where I've been, but I'm glad I got here! This is one of the most fantastic tales in poetry and so beautifully done. Great, Great!

Doris Thompson
nioka flint06/08/07
WOW! Very nice :-)
Blake Bettis07/05/07
Absolutely AMAZING! I never have been a big poetry fan, but you might have just changed that! That is the best poem I have ever read! Amazing message, too!
Joanne Durrett08/08/07
This is the best of the Best of The Best to me. What a wonderful gift you have! Thanks for sharing it.
Linda Roth08/23/07
It is easy to see why this is a winner! Keep writing!
ruth gabriel01/01/09
I have nothing to criticize.May God bless you for this piece of Virtue,Grace,Romance and Forgiveness.
well done.
ruth gabriel01/01/09
I have nothing to criticize.May God bless you for this piece of Virtue,Grace,Romance and Forgiveness.
well done.
Glenda Lagerstedt06/13/09
Oh wow. This is most awesome. I am truly a fan of the written word but not so much a fan of the poetry. However, this one held me spellbound to the end.

Well done!
Laurie Gagne06/25/09
This poem touched my heart!
Thank you.
Laurie M. Gagne
Ifeoma Dennis10/03/10
This made me cry years ago when I first read this...and today, after a Sunday service where my heart was plagued with guilt and sadness, this again has filled me with hope.
I love love this write.
God bless you.
Jennifer Pellegrino10/13/11
Oh my goodness, absolutely breathe-taking!
Bonnie Bowden01/16/13
Hauntingly beautiful. A tale worth the telling. I'm definitely bookmarking this one.
Emily Gillilan02/04/13
Thank you for this. : ) Very well put together. Enchanting.
Frana Hamilton02/14/14
Now that's wonderful writing. I'm awestruck.




























Matt Guddat05/04/14
I never really liked poems until now!