The Official Writing Challenge
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I loved it! I, too, got caught up in worry as to whether Mr. Drake would escape the locks closing! Kept my interest throughout...great job and writing was superior!
You almost lost me on the technical stuff at the beginning, but at the last minute I decided to skim it and get to the story. I'm glad I did! Good story and I love the closing line.
I echo what the last commenter said about the technical stuff, but ultimately, it was a wonderful story with a great point. Very good.
This is tremendous. I almost broke out into a chorus of "Oh, Canada" (which has nothing to do with anything), but the description was excellent, the illustration perfect and the conclusion hit me right between the eyes. Great job.
I was on pins and needles for Mr. Drake! I think this was the perfect balance of info, intrigue, and message! (great message by the way!) Whew! I am so glad this story ended with Mr. Drake escaping! Great devotional!
Very nice story....I agree about the technical bit, but I understand that you needed to give a good picture of the setting.
Thank you for reminding us that we can fly!
Good story! I love animals and it drew me in as I wondered what would happen to the poor duck. I felt silly worrying when her husband told her ducks could fly. I was right there with her.
Okay, I'm going to go ahead and get this out of the way. Everybody knows they want to say it. This story just "quacks" me up! I don't know though, I think there are some ducks that can't fly. Now you have me doing research!! I really enjoyed this though.
This is so cute. I must admit, I was very afraid your little ducky friend was going to have a sad ending. (so glad he didn't. I love ducks) Written well. Great job! I found the beginning was a little dry, but the second paragraph took off nicely.
What a great lesson! We do tend to go in circles a lot, don't
we? I could just see that duck :)
ps - I keep hearing SOME tv character saying, "Love a duck!" and I can't get it out of my head, and I can't remember who it is LOL
Jan, this held my interest all the way! As usual, you did a awesome job!
Jan, this was very nice. Your flexibility as a writer never ceases to amaze me.
I don't see a lot of technical stuff here, I think every word is needed and woven beautifully in with info about the duck. I'm sure glad he made it. (What a waste he would've been, wild duck tastes awful! LOL) Great message, if we could only remember to 'fly' above those circumstances that threaten us. Wonderful writing!
This is a cute story. I agree with some about the technical stuff, but it was necessary to set the scene. Good story, I enjoyed it.
Yes, lovely writing, but I'm in the 'lose the first paragraph' camp, for what that's worth.
Awesome, awesome, awesome! Beautiful use of description. You painted a wonderful picture with words.
One smill suggestion (almost too insignificant to type): Instead of stating that it was your husband and you on the ferry you may use 'family'. When the girls were added it seemed strange that they weren't mentioned before.
Incredible story, lovely message, SO true!
Great story, Jan! I came away with the scent and cool spray of the lake water in my mind as well as the sensation of ruffling duck feathers...your story drew me in that much! And yes, definitely a great ending statement!
I love your title and your conclusion especially, but the whole lot was great! If you don't mind one piece of constructive criticism, I'd change 'anxiousness' to 'anxiety' ... but that's just a miniscule picky thing. It had a great message and had me on the edge of my seat.
Awesome application!!! This is just too cool...and fits my current situation/circumstances to a T!! Thanks for reminding ME I can fly...soar w/ wings like eagles, in fact. :-)