The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
03/06/06
How creative. This piece had a nice flow to it and I think is one that you read once and something hits you and when you read it again, you get even more out of it. Beautiful.
A nice poem and a good write.
This is beautiful. I had to read it twice before the meaning came clear, but I loved it, especially these words...

"Moments are passing! The Spirit hovers … ready!
His stillness speaks no words.
Jesus is knocking – now! She cannot wait
and she opens the door of her heart. Jesus enters,..."


Very creative setting for the topic...a Bible study for children. I enjoyed reading your poem.
I love your small details - threads of red and gold. I find this poem well done with content and images. Stanza breaking is well timed. These things add strength the encompassing story being told. I love how you 'weave' the speaker as a mix of a magician and a weaver. I love the ending line - and he never leaves her! Well done.

Your line breaking in the second stanza was a little weird. It felt like you typed it on a shorter column and forgot to hit enter in the right spot a few times. Not too bad, just felt a bit off.

Thank you for the charming story.
03/10/06
Beautiful! This has more meaning for me cause my own daughter was saved at a sitter's home who had a woman come in with the Good News...she was about that age too. Loved the ending most.
03/10/06
Very nice little story! I especially loved the part that said, "With perfect strokes the Spirit weaves, pure threads / of red and gold, into Redemption’s story"

Wonderful!
03/10/06
Pat, you took me back to my own childhood, when I attended just such a Bible club! Wonderful! Love the way you presented this!
03/11/06
Very good writing. I love the story you are telling as well as the unique way you presented it. MANY great descriptions, including "the rustle of her peers", "on the knuckles of her fists", and I especially love "of Words she has heard many times. Of Words
she hears for the first time. The Spirit reveals …"

Very good job!
Yes, you've taken me too, Pat, to a place in my childhood where I can still see the faces of teachers who are forever sealed in my memory. Such gifts from God! I knelt at the age of nine at our church altar and accepted Jesus as my Savior because precious, caring people were faithful to God's calling. Thank you, dear poet friend for this special work!
Very good. I too remembered my childhood and the good news club. Thank you.
Cute poem! I have been to a Good News Club, too. Good job.
03/12/06
This is so tender and lovely ... well done!
03/14/06
Ohhh, Pat.. this was so wonderful. It brought tears to my eyes and gave me chills. I taught in Christian preschool for 8 years.. and still have my visual with Jesus knocking on the door.
I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed this. My very favorite line was;
"Then her Mom tells everyone it’s time for snacks.

And Jesus goes with her … and never leaves."
Loved it, loved it, loved it!
Kate~
03/16/06
This was the entry that won top marks in every section from me. It was simple, yet striking, yet masterful.
First reaction: sweet. Second reaction: powerful. Now how many time do those go hand-in-hand? Nicely done, Pat. I was 26 when I accepted Christ, and yet....surely there was a childlike heart in me responding to the Call.