‘I HATE YOU MOM, I HATE YOU DAD. I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. I DETEST THE VERY SIGHT OF YOU.’
These words kept echoing through my head, and I sat on the floor and sobbed my heart out. Rats, cockroaches and lizards infested my farm house, and my surroundings were a thorough mess, but nothing in comparison to how messy my life had turned out.
I was eighteen once, with a dream to be an independent software consultant. I was hardworking and studious by nature; a justifying reason for my parents to have ambitious dreams for me. And that’s when I met Jake! He wasn’t the type of person any parent would want their girl to date - lazy, unemployed and a drunkard. And that’s exactly what I did.
My parents being staunch, every-Sunday church goers, had very strong views against my dating Jake. Angry words flared between us till I blurted out those dreadful words and stormed out of my home with Jake, never to return, at least not for the next seven years.
Jake and I decided to set up our live-in-together home at Tennessee, away from the sight of my family, on a farm we took on lease. Life was good to us, but eventually I realized that I wasn’t the centre of Jake’s attention. I was left home for days on end with our livestock and cattle and the little help we had, that I started to see life in a new realistic outlook. We survived through six years of our so-called togetherness till Jake finally left me for another woman.
Shattered and heart-broken, I carried on for a year as if things were normal. But normal it would never be. Disease broke out on the farm and I suffered a huge loss, let alone being neck deep in debt. It was almost time to surrender my lease on the farm and I realized that I did not have any other career other than the past seven years’ experience on the farm. This was not me! I couldn’t believe that I could be so stupid as to jump into something headlong. What was I thinking? And is this reversible? God! Why have you forsake me?
I longed to be in my mother’s arms. She used to be my best friend every time I needed a secret shared or a tear wiped. She used to have that magical way of making me smile that hundred watt smile through all my disappointments. And that time when Bob won that quiz contest which I was so sure of winning…….she took me out for a treat, just to congratulate my heroic effort. And my dad… he used to call me his little princess and carry me on his shoulder. To him, I was a show piece to be proudly exhibited to all he knew. He used to be so proud of me! They were just what I needed. But they would never let me enter home again! They had every right to.
What if they would?
Picking up the little dignity left in me, I made up my mind to go to church after years of absence. God would never remember me, but I could give it a try. Maybe he had some spell to reverse this last decade. I had nothing left but to pour my heart out to Him. Somewhere deep within I felt a flicker, a feeling of grace flood my soul and a strong desire to confess the innumerable mistakes in my life. I longed to make my peace with my God and my parents.
I made a good confession.
Finally, I found myself standing outside my home. Should I turn back and run out of sight? I had nothing left to lose. Absolutely nothing!
I rang the door bell, and before I could understand this new found courage within me, I heard a joyful shout, ‘JIM, OUR BABY’S BACK!’ Tears flooding down our cheeks we hugged and cried together….. with my mom sighing ‘Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus. You never fail!’
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