My Dearest Strumpet:
I was glad to receive your letter yesterday as Our Father Below had just met with me and other Senior Tormentors to discuss our plans for the future glorious battle that we are sure to win. However, I must express my dismay at a couple of points you raised in your letter, ones I thought had been resolved. (What do they teach you in Torment School these days?)
Your questions are legitimate so I will answer them in order of importance. Firstly, attendance of your human in her local church. You would be wise in getting her never to darken the doors of her parish, but foolish demon that you are, you already lost the initial battle of her soul and it might be too late to try the usual tactics on her. All is not lost even on this front however. I can show you a pretty cageful of souls who began their hideous relationship with the Enemy on a high note and entered the church building at every opportunity. But through strife, bitterness or even sheer boredom we talked them out of going. Great is the day they choose not to go to church because so-and-so slighted them, or because Mr. Whatis took their seat, or Mrs. Parsons played the organ too loudly. Plant the thought in your tormentee’s mind that she is meant to be surrounded by people who claim to walk a Christian walk, and let her not for one moment entertain the thought that she herself is less than perfect.
From what you tell me, she may be too far in the Enemy’s pocket to fall for those tricks, and there is nothing worse than planting thoughts like that in a human’s mind and have them brush them off with, “Oh. What a silly goose I am – why would I think that?” It’s so demeaning, and means you have to find a new tactic.
A strategy that Our Father Below has brought out of mothballs, and dusted off is that of ‘feeling’. Get your human thinking about how she feels about absolutely everything, and you may win the battle yet, despite her involvement in her local church. There is much more to the Enemy’s presence than being in church (or so I am informed, I personally want to have nothing to do with the likes of him!) and these vermin can meet with him anywhere they choose. It irks me that he has made himself so accessible to these homo sapiens who should by rights be serving us! How dare he? It makes my blood boil...but I digress.
What I was saying was get to her on an emotional level. Make her forget that her spirit and her heart are two completely different things. One of our worst enemies, John, wrote a letter to some church and reminded them that when their heart condemns them, they are to turn to the Enemy, God, because, supposedly, He is greater than the condemnation. But we have successfully perpetrated the lie that the Spirit (why does he have to be everywhere?) condemns them, and that they are not worthy or good enough to enter the Enemy’s presence. Well of course the idiots aren’t good enough! But that meddling Jesus came along and since then our work has more than doubled, but we think we are onto a winner with this argument. You know from personal experience that if you make your human continue to feel guilty, even once she has made contrition, then she believes she cannot enter the Enemy’s presence. Keep her in a constant state of condemnation and guilt because the two feed off each other, and you are home free, sipping your tea, slippers on the hearth before you can say ‘Bob’s your uncle”! Before long she will not even want to enter his presence because the weight of the guilt is too much, and if you play your cards right (and you have to be subtle) you can have her blaming the Enemy for her guilt and then she certainly won’t want to come to church, or try to talk to him at any other time for that matter.
See! Simple instructions – I am rather surprised I have to explain this at all. I thought this was taught in Guilt 101 and Presence of the Enemy 201, but things have probably changed since my college days.
I do, however, remain your affectionate aunt,
In Tribute to a great author, C.S. Lewis, author of “The Screwtape Letters”.
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