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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Help (02/20/06)

TITLE: I Got the Short End of the Stick
By Joanne Malley
02/26/06


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I Got the Short End of the Stick



I have a major bone to pick.

It seems that in lifeís grand scheme, God chose me as one of His helpers to bring the medicine of laughter to those around me, even though itís the type of job I didnít want.

We all play a part as Godís assistants while we help him orchestrate the details of His plan. Apparently, I was created for the sheer purpose of laughter at my own expense.

God handpicked my traits perfectly so I could be mocked while others observe my many trips, falls and splatters. The bruises Iíve sustained left a permanent mark on my body as well as my reputation. Iíve been the subject of mockery and an embarrassment to my family. Itís really quite pathetic.

Maybe itís me, but I donít find the humor in it all.

God knew it would be hysterical to watch a clueless, well-dressed fool juggle her purse and high heels in mid-air as she tumbles down a few flights of stairs. If you factor in her desperate struggle to fix her gnarled hair and her futile attempts to return to an upright position, youíll realize that impact, execution and timing is everything when comedy is involved.

Godís brilliant.

As you can see, He chose the right specimen to be of service.

Now, I have no objection in helping Him carry on through my charades, but each time I bang into walls or cause bodily damage to myself, the blood I leave behind is proof that a bit much is required of me.

Enough is enough.

I personally donít think this behavior meshes with my outer appearance, but Iíve learned not to question the way Iíve been made or the role Iíve been given for this world. God knows best. My destiny has been set and this is the way Iím to help carry out His plan. However, I wish I had been consulted first as to the way I was to help in the grand plan because in a weak moment, thereís no doubt I would have said, ďNo Way!Ē

The shame in this whole matter is thereís nothing I can do about it -- except to hope that the kinks continue to work themselves out as I age.

If I had my way, I wouldíve preferred to possess the qualities of poise and gracefulness, like a gazelle, to complement my tall frame, but God obviously preferred the traits of klutziness and dorkiness. It just proves he must enjoy laughing as much as the next guy.

I donít want to argue with the Big Guy because reallyÖwhat do I knowÖbut I think it might be easier and a lot safer for others to rent a Jim Carey movie and laugh at someone else for a change.

Agreed?

It may appear Iím upset with my maker for His choice to call me as a special helper who performs acrobatic tricks to bring joy to the world, but Iím simply just blowing off steam because I wanted some other schmuck to do the job.

The bright side is as I become older, Iíve noticed that the klutziness is waning and I donít accidentally jab my fork into my gums as much as I used to when I eat. Skinned knees are still an occasional problem, but itís been a really long time since Iíve landed face first on the pavement in front of my sonís school.

Thank goodness for little blessings.

My traits are now apparent in my daughter and I can appreciate them from the sidelines. More so, I appreciate the fact that I may be passing on my short end of the stick.

In retrospect, I realize the impact Iíve had on this world first hand through all of my suffering and how itís my daughterís turn to bring more laughter into the world. Iím beaming with pride Ė yet, breathing a huge sigh of relief.

While grazing through the newspaper, I recently noticed a ďHelp WantedĒ ad for a writer. I think I might apply. God may be providing me a new way to help others experience a few gales of laughter.

Suddenly, Heís on the same page as me and Iím thrilled to pieces.

Iím ecstatic thereís a safe, new way to be of service in lifeís grand schemeÖand there are no occupational hazards.

Now, thatís a big help.


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This article has been read 870 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 03/01/06
I love self-deprecating humor, and you've done it very well. Gave me chuckles all the way through, especially visualizing that tumble downstairs as you try to maintain your dignity.
Lynda Schultz 03/02/06
Reminds me of the time I was telling a story to the congregation about some cockroach experience in Colombia, and unaware, scratched myself as though I had brought the little beasts with me. The audience laughed and I had no idea why until later. But I bet they didn't forget me soon. God does work in odd ways sometime (and through odd people). Good job. Blessings.
Andre Kingston03/02/06
I don't know what to say. It stayed on topic. The format was good. However, I personally did not like it. I think it may be a matter of personal taste though - no one is going to have everyone like everything they write. You write well, keep writing.
Joanne Malley03/02/06
Now, that's a person who doesn't have a problem with honesty! LOL Anyone else care to make my day too? tee hee
Cassie Memmer03/02/06
I enjoyed this. Reminded me of myself! I learned a long time ago to laugh with people after one of my 'stunts.' It's a whole lot better than crying. Especially when I come out of church and fall on my butt in the mud. And everyone thinks it's hilarious! LOL! Though the very next week that area was covered in fresh gravel. See how helpful we are? LOL! Great writing!
Pat Guy 03/02/06
I sure can relate to some of these levels of clumsiness and clutziness. (toes can be a problem too!)

And maybe this person's gift doesn't lie in the visual humor others will write about, but in the humor she writes about that others can visualize! Godly written humor - a true gift! And you've got it! :)
Debbie Sickler03/02/06
While I can totally relate to being a clutz (I'm constantly covered in bruises and can't remember why), but sorry, I have to agree with Andre. There were some funny images, but it seemed to kind of ramble, like you had a bit of an idea and tried to stretch it.
Suzanne R03/04/06
One of the ways you make people laugh is being so open about your clutziness (sp?) and giving a good laugh to far more people even that originally laughed. See, I can see this because I'm one of those people too. Sometimes I think that surely everyone else did as many dumb things as us, but just never lets on.

Goofiness isn't altogether bad - we do brighten the days of many people. Anyhow, I'm kind of sorry for your daughter, but kind of glad for the people with whom her life interacts.

A long comment here on the content, I know. Anyhow, keep up with the good job of bringing a smile to the people around you ... or of being increasingly 'all together' (too bad......)
Shari Armstrong 03/04/06
Very well done - (laughing quietly) :)
Maxx .03/05/06
No wonder you're getting hate mail ... you're recommending Jim Carey movies! Arrrgghhh! I gotta get Uncle Guido after you for that! ;-)

My only concern with this was that it was written like you were making a serious complaint (complete with feelings of resentment, etc) about a humorous topic. I felt conflicted, do I laugh or sympathize?!?

Otherwise, the writing was fine and the point well made. Good job!
Linda Germain 03/18/06
Who was more visual than The Three Stooges... or Jerry Lewis, Peter Sellers, Chevy Chase? Even the poor little AFLAC duck has trouble staying upright. Maybe it is the short end of the SLAPSTICK? :0)
Very cute, Jo. You make ME smile (...and you think Uncle Guido is a tough audience?) LOL