Lindsay lumbered into her apartment after a grueling day of social work.
“Lord, why are you testing me so?” she cried out loud. Seven new child abuse cases assigned to her that day meant evening and weekend work—again. She threw leftover Chinese food into the microwave and turned on her computer. She hoped the on-line dating service would have a match for her.
Lindsay loved her career with abused children and their families but still wished for more. “ Hi Nemo,” she said to her pet fish, realizing she had not fed him that morning. “If I forget to feed you, how can I possibly manage a husband and kids?” She longed for a family and always thought that chapter of her life would open “someday.” Since the breakup with Lance, her high school sweetheart, four years ago, she dated but hadn’t found any strong prospects for marriage. Now, she had asked for help by registering on-line with the match-for-you Christian site.
The ding of the microwave and the signal of a successful computer log-in sounded simultaneously. “Mmmmm, that’s strange,” she thought as she grabbed her Kung Pao Tofu leftovers and sat down at the computer. “Something in my life is in harmony.”
Lindsay logged in to the matching site. Her password, KIDS4EVER reminded her of her current growing caseload of those who were senselessly abused and neglected. She pushed the thoughts out of her mind as the “Match-For-You” site popped up.
She clicked on “Your new matches.” Up popped another set of buttons. Lindsay chose “Men under 35, ” figuring that someone seven years her senior would be about as old as she’d consider.
The next set of buttons allowed her to select career of her proposed mate. She chose “professional- human services” after she read the description of teacher, pastor, social worker, etc. She pondered whether a businessman may be a better choice but thought she’d like someone with similar passions as she had. It was so clear to her that helping children and their families was her life mission.
When the choice of religion popped up, she clicked “Christian- any denomination,” feeling very open-minded at her choice.
The next set of buttons made her giggle, but she chose “tall, handsome men in professional careers.”
The next buttons allowed her to pick desired lifestyle and she chose “rich with a lot of material possessions.” She began to laugh —committed to social service and rich—what a dichotomy!
The next set of buttons asked her to choose whether she’d like someone to help with house hold chores. Lindsay quickly clicked “YES.” Be involved with kids? Another quick “YES.” Handle household finances? “YES” again. Help with shopping?, car repairs?; cleaning? Cooking? YES, YES, YES?!?!
The computer screen asked, “What things could you absolutely not tolerate in a man?” She clicked lying, cheating, flirting with others, poor grooming, loud public burping, spiteful sarcasm, laziness and emotional instability.
The next screen showed a door. An audio began in a loud booming voice with background music like the circus.
“We have carefully considered all of your requests and behind this door are potential mates for you. With our help, you are matched on 22 traits of compatibility. Simply click on the doorknob to see the profiles and photographs of your potential mates.”
This was it! Lindsay’s single life was about to end! She clicked the doorknob, which by now was flashing in bright orange.
The door opened. Words appeared. Oooooh, it looked like a long list. Lindsay held her breath.
The message read, “We’re sorry, we have no matches at this time.”
Then three buttons appeared. They read
1. click here to revise your criteria
2. click here for help with the “perfect man syndrome”
3. click here to end this session.
Lindsay clicked #2.
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