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The Voice: May I help?
Infant: No! I do it myself!
The Voice: Are you sure? You look like you could use some help.
Infant: No! Me big. Me do it all by myself!
~ * ~
The Voice: May I help?
Child: No! I can do it by myself.
The Voice: Are you sure? You really do need some help.
Child: No! I can take care of it by myself. I’m in first grade now. I know my alphabet, my numbers and all my colors.
The Voice: Okay, if you’re sure. But anytime you need my help, I’m available. You just have to ask.
~ * ~
The Voice: May I help?
Teen: Are you kidding? What you think I’m helpless? Look, I’ve got this all under control, so just leave me alone.
The Voice: Are you sure you want me to leave you alone?
Teen: I said I did, didn’t I? I mean I didn’t stutter. So bug off…leave me alone.
The Voice: Are you really sure you want me to leave you alone.
Teen: Hey look, I told you I don’t want your kind of help. So get off my back. I need my personal space. Don’t wanna warp my psyche do you?
~ * ~
The Voice: May I help?
Young Adult: No thanks. Things are going great. My life is completely mapped out. I’m right on track. I’ve studied all the angles. Why my future’s so bright I gotta wear shades, but I’m sure you’ve heard that ole line before.
The Voice: Yes, I have, but if you’ll allow me, I can make a few suggestions that could increase your overall performance.
Young Adult: Look, I know you mean well and I’m sure you’re sincere, but things have changed over the last few decades. Hey this is the 21st Century, every thing is new. What worked in the past, doesn’t apply now. This is the Information Age, and not to be rude, you are a little “dated.”
The Voice: Are you sure?
Young Adult: Yeah, man. Thanks! But I tell you what; I’ll keep your card and your information handy. If I get in a bind, I’ll call you.
The Voice: I’d prefer to help now before an intervention is necessary.
Young Adult: Great line! That’s really funny…good to see you’ve kept hip with the sound bites. Catch you later.
The Voice: I certainly hope so.
Young Adult: He’s such a kidder!
~ * ~
The Voice: May I help?
Adult: Nawh, I’ve got this pretty much under control. Now the wife, she may be interested. I’ll let her know you stopped by.
The Voice: Yes, I’m sure she could use my help, but I thought I’d offer you my assistance first. You are the head of the family. You generally take the lead.
Adult: Are you kidding? What planet have you been living on? Man this is the 21st Century. The women are equal, I ain’t no “head” over her. Our marriage is a 50-50 partnership. We’ve got this thing all planned out. We’ve got our careers, the kids, the cars, the mortgage, the IRA’s and the vacation season arranged. What you’re suggesting would just slow us down.
The Voice: Maybe, but slowing down might be the help you really need.
Adult: Look, I appreciate the offer, but I’ve got 15 more years to cap off my retirement package and then we’re home free. I’ll get back with you then, when I’ve got a little more time.
The Voice: Are you sure? I really think you need my help now…before it’s too late.
Adult: Hey, don’t try that high pressure sales pitch on me. Besides, who ever said I needed your help anyway?
~ * ~
H-E-L-P! God! Where are you? I was only joking!
~ * ~
But He gives more grace. So that the Writings say, God is against the men of pride, but he gives grace to those who make themselves low before him. (James 4:6 BBE)
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