The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1153 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/27/06
I was all teary-eyed by the time I finished this one. What concern and courage are displayed here by one of God's faithful servants. I was "right there" in this setting - eating a muffin and listening to the words of an inspiring teacher. Her attitude is a great reminder to us all.
02/28/06
Wonderfully written! I love the way you showed the small nuances of a blind person's challenges. The raised concrete that is just enough to cause a stumble, but not enough to fully embarrass with a fall; the finger around the tea cup, the dog's behavior. Well done.

Would like to see this expanded into a short story with more exposure on the battle lines between church and state, right and wrong, leadership and inspiration, and Jim's success through Christ. I can imagine it, but would love to see how you would "show" it to me.
02/28/06
Great story, very well-written. The details you included really brought the story to life.

I was a little confused by "confirming her position" in the first paragraph until I discovered she was blind and realized it was the perfect description.

I really enjoyed eavesdropping on this conversation. I agree, this would be great to expand into a longer story.

One teeny critique - I was distracted when they anticipated blueberry muffins and then bought another kind instead. Minor, I know!
03/01/06
One of this week's best!

Funny, the story could be mine, at least some of it.

I was an underachiever getting D's in high school until a teacher took an interest and gave me an "A" on an essay. Turned my life around!
Hope you're a teacher, and this is what you do.
03/02/06
Really nice, and I really like your last two lines!
03/04/06
I liked the last lines too. I was disappointed about the blueberry muffins, but that's just a small thing. Lovely concept.
This is too funny - two comments on the blueberry muffins! They WERE blueberry muffins, but with a pecan-streusel topping! LOL This was so obvious to me (as an ex-bakery owner) but obviously threw my reading audience for a loop!!! Chuckle.... :-D