I am writing to apologize to you. Itís been a few weeks since we talked and I realize that you feel pressured by the way I speak to you. You seem to be able to say Ďnoí so easily and it hurts every time you say that word to me.
When we first met you seemed less resistant; you would at least hear me out. While you refused my very direct question, you were polite about it. Now? You seem to be avoiding me at every turn. I have to admit that while itís painful to think about the deterioration of our relationship, I have been thinking about you a lot.
Someday I hope you will realize just how much I care for you. You have been knit to my heart in ways I canít explain and yet you are as distant from me as an iceberg is from Bermuda.
I should have taken the hint when you asked me, ďCanít you talk about anything else?Ē I was just so persistent and now we donít seem to be able to communicate.
We used to work in the same department, now youíve been relocated to another division and I donít get to see you much these days. I miss you.
That doesnít sound like much of an apology I suppose, but some things are hard to let go.
I realize now that I have made Jesus the primary topic of conversation for a long time and you feel pressured to make a decision about what you will do with what you know. Iím sorry! Iíve been trying to do someone elseís job and itís clear that I am not qualified.
I can envision you knowing Jesus and Iím going to keep praying for you, but Iíve been very selfish by not allowing God to draw you to Himself. Iíve tried to carry you kicking and screaming and Iím willing to admit it hasnít worked.
I Corinthians 13 tells me that love is not selfish. So I guess itís clear to see that I havenít been showing love toward you as well as I should have.
My motives were innocent enough. I wanted you to have the same joy that I do and Iíve been praying for you for a very long time. In the end, you just wanted me to be a friend and wait for you to ask the questions. You need to know this is hard for me, Iím so absolutely sold on the idea of a personal relationship with Jesus, so itís hard not to talk about it.
Youíve heard the truth and Iíd be happy to share it again any time you want to listen, but I leave that decision to you. Iíve tried to make it for you and Iím learning that I have no right to do so, and as much as Iíd like to I canít make you love Jesus. Forgive me for failing to be your friend while at the same time trying to be your savior.
I Am So Sorry,
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