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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: End (02/13/06)

TITLE: Dying at Midnight
By Tesiri Moweta
02/20/06


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‘So! This is how it all ends’ I thought to myself, I stopped feeling the pain and frustration I was feeling a few moments ago. It felt like I never went through the pain in the first place. Before this painless transition, I couldn’t breathe properly and was fast losing my breath. As I laid on my hospital bed, I didn’t feel pain anymore and of course I could breathe properly. I got up.I thought this was the end of all the suffering I faced all year. I thought I was healed but I was wrong.I turned to leave the hospital room but saw someone who looked exactly like me on the bed. I realized then that in actual fact, I was dead.

I noticed my mother standing beside my bed, not moving an inch, too frustrated to cry and totally helpless. I wanted to let her know that I was fine but when I touched her she couldn’t feel me. She didn’t move, she didn’t even know I was there, she thought I was on the bed.I wondered how to reach her as two angels came to me on my left and right. The one by my right said “it’s time to leave”. I tried to explain to them that I wanted my mother to know that I was fine but I couldn’t. I had to obey so we flew up into the clouds and I found myself in a queue waiting for my turn to see my creator.

I liked where I was. I didn’t mind being here forever; all I wanted to do was ensure mum knew I was alright.When it got to my turn, God looked at me and said, “you’ll have to go back child, there are many people you haven’t told about Jesus and there are many things you haven’t done, which you ought to do.”
“But Lord”, I protested “if I’m not supposed to be here, then why am I here?” How did I get here, Lord please reconsider my case” I pleaded.
The lord said to me, “look to your left”. I did and I saw an innumerable amount of people in a thick darkness. Some of them were in chains and others were down and inert.“If you don’t return, who will preach to these ones and thereby free them? It’s your job and no one can do what I have purposed for you to do. For the sake of these souls, go back to earth and tell everyone you meet about Jesus for it is my desire that all men accept Jesus and get salvation.

I had to obey and the same two angels who brought me to see God took me back to the hospital room. My mum was still by my bed side grief stricken. I entered my body on my hospital bed and when I felt the pain again, I knew I was alive and kicking. My eyes fluttered opened and looked at my mum. “Mum” I said very quietly and weakly, “how long have I …
“Three days child” she said stroking my hair, “you’ve been in a coma for three days. I looked at my mother closely, she was wearing the same clothes, I was very weak but I managed to say, “Mum, you can rest now, it’s all over!” She nodded in agreement and thanked God for my life.

The point of this story is for you to ask yourself some vital questions.
Answer these questions sincerely, for self-deceit is the worst any man can do to himself. What is your life for? Death could come calling at anytime. When death comes, will you be ready and adequate to face God? Most people don’t get a second chance like I did, how are you so sure you have a second chance? What is your calling in life? Do you know? Are you even trying to find out? If you know, are you walking in that call? And finally, if God told you, you would die at midnight, what would you do before that time? I’m sure you’ll tidy up a lot of things. Why don’t you live each day as though you were going to die at midnight?


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janet rubin02/21/06
The point of this story is a good one. Here's a bit of writing advice though- watch out for repeated words and phrases. You used "feeling, feel and felt" many times in this story for example. Substituting other words or finding other ways to say the same thing would make for better reading. Thanks for the reminder of the responsability we have to spread the Gospel while we still have the chance.
Kate Wells02/21/06
A very good reminder that our days are numbered even as the hairs on our head. Thank you for reminding us to "make the most of the time" as in Eph.5:16 Good job!
Marilyn Schnepp 02/26/06
A fine message for all of us; and a great story; however, critique-wise..."these ones" after "look on your left" is perhaps a typo, and comma's are needed to break up your long sentences. Perhaps just a good edit would do the trick. I loved the story, and you make a very good point!