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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: End (02/13/06)

TITLE: Just Like You
By Joanne Malley
02/19/06


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Just Like You



I remember you.

Iíve seen you before.

You shuffled along the shoreline and pondered how your life has gone so fast. I caught your misty eyes gaze at the morning horizon. The remaining strands of gray hair had proven your age. You shed a few tears of self-pity while you were deep in thought, but never shed any tears of regret.

You blamed your misfortunes on those around you and never once looked towards the heavens with gratitude in your heart. Iíve heard you lash out in the direction of the sun as you wondered why your neighbor had more than you. Nothing ever warmed your soul enough to open your eyes to your blessings. You never once noticed what you had and always complained about what you didnít. Thoughts of only yourself clouded your vision to the needs of those who were placed in your path.

You often missed the opportunity to uplift your spouse or thank your children for their love. The wonderful feeling that comes from gratitude regarding all youíve been given was never yours to know.

You missed the privilege to wipe away the tears of others, soothe the hurts of those in pain and thank God for the many days Heís entrusted to you.

Youíre now stumbling through the waves as you try to catch your balance. You notice your own frailty as you walk alone and lonely. You donít realize there is someone special reaching to entwine His fingers in yours as you walk your final steps. You look back, but are still blind. You never knew He was there with you all of your days.

Youíve come to the end of your life bearing only an empty shell and a barren soul. You leave behind a life with no meaning.

I remember you.

Iíve seen you before.

I now lay here at the end of my life as you pass me by Ė a blue crab Ė an empty shell just like you.


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This article has been read 831 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 02/21/06
So sad, but unfortunately true. Very interesting perspective. It takes a creative person to look at life from a blue crab's eye view. Well done.
janet rubin02/23/06
Very sad, but well and realistically written. Thanks.
Marie Gabbard02/23/06
A blue crab - interesting. A great visual of an ungrateful heart (an empty shell). How sad.
Linda Watson Owen02/23/06
A very sad truth eloquently shown in this dark piece. The blue crab image is perfect. The shoreline effectively symbolic. Personally this resonates because I have someone in my life who this captures to the smallest detail. Skillfully written!
Anita Neuman02/23/06
Not bad for a half hour's work! ;-)
Yes, it's short, but the message is clear. You've chosen your words & phrases well to convey the depth of all that this woman has missed in her life. Good job!
Pat Guy 02/23/06
A half hour? My your brave! And good too! This IS really a good and effective read. It's sad she doesn't even know how empty and useless she has been.
Jan Ackerson 02/23/06
I certainly didn't expect the end, and it made my writer's spirit leap up and applaud. What a perfect word picture!
Maxx .02/25/06
Oh Jo ... it doesn't read badly. Don't think so low of your efforts! Nice descriptions and great scene.
Shari Armstrong 02/25/06
30 mintutes? time well spent! well done :) The comparison was perfect.
Marilyn Schnepp 02/26/06
Ohhhh...such a wonderful, and brilliant piece of work! I loved every word from the beginning to the fantastic ending. (I didn't realize you knew me...as your story seemed to point in my direction)-(sorry to say); but Wow, such a creative mind, from a talented Writer.
Amanda D'costa03/07/06
Good insight and creative writing. Beautiful!