The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/20/06
Excellent piece. I don't think the intro was necessary. The work spoke for itself. Very well done!
The title attracted me (for obvious reasons ;-). I was very pleased to see this story based on Teri Shiavo's life. Though her story, personally, is tragically over, it is good to spread awareness so we can fight to see that it does not happen again. Well done.
02/21/06
My neighbour's son spent 13 months in a coma. His parents looked after him at home because there is no provision for these kinds of situations here. I made soup twice a week for all those months to help them feed him. Your story was very real to me. Well done.
02/21/06
Heartwrenching. Such a clear reminder of the Teri Schiavo case.
Your story has stopped me in my tracks this morning. You've so skillfully brought the thoughts and feelings of the seriously disabled into shockingly clear focus. Excellent writing!!
02/22/06
Wow! What a powerful entry! It grabbed me from beginning to end - I was enthralled. Wow! Good job!
02/22/06
Oh, well done! Should be required reading for medical "ethicists."
02/22/06
Excellent! You fed us piece by piece bringing us to the horrible conclusion. I agree that the first line isn't necessary, the thought comes across crystal clear later. Superb writing, had me eating out of your hands, uh... keyboard, I mean.
02/23/06
Heartbreaking, so powerful - wow!
02/23/06
How sad that human lives are so disposable for some, yet how glorious that God finds each of us special and wonderful. Thank you for bringing a horrible injustice to light. Powerful, well-done.
02/23/06
I actually still grieve for Teri Schiavo. I remember trying to put on canvas what I was feeling at that time and ending up putting my art away for months. It was too painful. You have captured in words what I could not paint.
Thank you for remembering...
02/23/06
I agree about the intro-it's not needed. The story is sufficiently powerful on its own. To be trapped in your body like that-I felt her pain. I really liked this story. Well written!
02/24/06
Congratulations on this well-crafted and tragic entry. You did a great job conveying the thoughts and emotions of this woman.
02/24/06
Very well done. Excellent. I think the intro was very catchy ... the piece could stand without it, to be sure... but I liked it none the less. I thought that the end was just a touch weaker than the beginning (given that strong intro) so it was a little out of balance. Small issue, though. I suspect this will be a winner!
02/25/06
Awesome!!! Now, how come I didn't think of that? Very insightful and, I pray, effective piece.
You've tackled a difficult subject with sensitivity and insight and shown what is right without being judgemental. Last year I was relieved to be let off jury duty for a euthansia case. At the time local radio stations carried the story and one man spoke about the time his wife who had begged family members to help her die when her illness became too much. They refused, and she received further treatment that enabled her to enjoy life once more. There's always hope. However, as you pointed out, sometimes individuals and their families are stripped of that hope and opportunity. A great entry. Well done.
02/27/06
Good writing. You've captured the tragedy of "mercy" killings. Where is the mercy? The end could be a little sharper, ie. moans and Bill walks away without a backward glance.
02/27/06
A very touching story. You carried the reader along with every sentence.
02/27/06
This was REALLY powerful ... both the content and the way it was written.

WELL DONE!