The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/20/06
An excellent picture/explanation of the Gospel message. I think it would have been more powerful without the last paragraph, though. The flow of the story was good, and you held my attention.
02/20/06
Yes! Wonderful! Excellent! Great, great creative writing!
02/23/06
A riveting article. I certainly wanted to know the end. Very creative.
02/23/06
This is my kind of story! As each element unfolded I found myself thinking, "I should've seen that comin'" ... but I didn't. Wonderfully told AND written.
02/23/06
What a wonderful idea! How I admire people who come up with these creative, novel approaches!

I agree with the comments about the ending, and I'd go ever further, and end it with "Free." That's your maximum impact. Great job!
Your story is beautiful and creative. I kind of stumbled through the first paragraphs a little bit, so you might take a look at them. Otherwise, I believe this article should be submitted for publication. I especially loved this:

“How much?” I whispered, my fingers fumbling with the clasp on my wallet.

“Not for sale,” she declared, removing my tear-encapsulated portrait from the wall. Pressing the treasure into my hands, she said, “Free.”


You are a gifted writer. Keep up the good work.

02/25/06
Great concept. I liked the plotline and concept. The opening was a touch slow but it ended with a knock out. Good!
02/25/06
Good job! I agree with the comments on the beginning and last paragraphs. This kept my attention, wonderfully creative and unique.
This is well written an dhas a creative plot. Good job.
Wow! What a God we serve? Now, having said that, I might consider switching the last two paragraghs. Your article inspires me to continue to write. Thanks for your inspiration.