The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
02/20/06
Wow! What adventures we have as kids. What was the unseen force that thwarted the dwarf-like creature from eating Charlie? Such suspense. I liked Phillip's response to Charlie when he asked him if he wanted to go with him. That is typical boyspeak. You captured your character's personalities well.
very well told. However I felt like the reader is left hanging...
02/20/06
This was terrific writing. You have a gift for setting the scene. Great descriptions and suspense. However, I agree that I felt I was left hanging and wondering, "what was the point?" Too many unanswered questions.
02/20/06
Aaahh ... okay! There is a place of unatural activities that is evil beyond our imagination but there is a Power of protection that covers us. Besides, it's bad enough evil comes looking for us let alone we go looking for it. No way! Good creative writing and a good read. You captured evil and The Power that protects very well.
02/21/06
You painted the scene very well - great suspense. The unseen force was unsatisfying to me. Like learning the butler did it when there was no butler in the story. How about creating a 2nd version, The Guardian of Ebershaw Forest, and telling this story from the unseen force's point of view, trying to protect little kids when they stupidly try to enter the haunted forest.
A great story, with a great message, and a great ending. However - like some of the others - I felt, not left hanging, but that there is more to be told, more than can be put down in just 750 words. Well done, and thanks for sharing.

God bless,

Kevin