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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Break (02/06/06)

TITLE: No Temptation
By Val Clark
02/11/06


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‘Hurry up, Jenn!’

Simone’s voice echoes along the passage, through to the kitchen.

‘You’re taking ages. It can’t be that hard!’

It might not be hard for them. It doesn’t seem to be when it’s their turn, but it is hard for me.

Some things are private – not made to be shared. Other things are public – I want to share them with everybody. Some things, regrettably, have to be broken down into small pieces before they can be shared.

I spent ages thinking about my special offering for our girl’s night. My quest took me all over town and by the time the week was up my little four cylinder had consumed a tank of fuel. This morning I made my choice and it’s been nagging at me all day. Can I do this? Can I really do this?

My hand strayed to the wrapper. I remembered, just in time, the first Bible verse I’d had to memorize. I muttered the Jenn Revised Non-standard Version, ‘No temptation has overtaken me that is not common to everyone, but God is faithful and will not let me be tempted but with the temptation will provide a way of escape that I might be able to endure it.’

‘OK, I’m waiting…. An escape plan right now would be a good idea.’

No voice booming from the heavens. No angel with blazing sword pointing me in the right direction.

‘Do you need any help?’

‘No, Simone.’ I rush to answer lest she enter the kitchen and guess my predicament.

‘Right, then the countdown starts now.’

’Ten,’ they chorus. Three female voiced raised in mocking harmony. ‘Nine.’

My heart beats. I have prepared all morning for this. I can do it. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

‘Give me strength!’

‘Eight.’

I wash my hands thoroughly.

‘Seven.’

Dry each finger with care.

‘Six.’

I arrange the unopened offering on my favourite platter.

‘Five.’

‘Everything in my nature screams out against this.

‘Four.’

They are getting insistent. Fists are hammering in time on my rosewood table.

‘Three.’

With shaking hands, I place a brand new tea towel over the offering. Where is my way out?

‘Two.’

I carry the platter and its contents into the dining room.

‘One!’ They yell triumphantly.

A tear rolls down my face as I place the platter next to my full coffee cup. I so do not want to do this. But I have no choice, it is my turn and I am bound by the rules of our group.

I slowly pull back the tea towel.

They gasp in amazement.

I unwrap the offering.

Their eyes are wide with anticipation.

Simone is almost drooling. ‘You’ve outdone yourself this time, babe.’

Appreciative murmurs fill the room.

Briefly I close my eyes. It is all too much. I must act. I must do something. Please, Lord, give me the strength.

With swift movements I destroy the symmetry of my offering. Breaking it into small pieces. The girls are stunned to silence by the violence of my act.

When I pass around the platter they reach out tentative hands, unsure about taking a broken piece of my offering.

But it is done now. The act cannot be reversed.

The two pound block of the best quality, mixed whole nuts and dark chocolate that I want so much to eat all by myself has been broken and shared, as it should be, as it was made to be.


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This article has been read 945 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 02/14/06
I feel your pain! You really had me going right to the end. Good work.
Jan Ackerson 02/16/06
Great job on the buildup of tension, and great timing on the release. And...I want some, please.
Anita Neuman02/16/06
"Some things, regrettably, have to be broken down into small pieces before they can be shared." This was so poignant at first - but after reading the whole thing, it's hilarious! GREAT job. And pass the platter.
Pat Guy 02/16/06
A good thing there were no fingers in the way! I loved the chanting and the pounding on the table! I was there! tehe! Poignant and funny! Just loved it! (what did you do with the prop for your story Miss Yeggs!) ;)
Shari Armstrong 02/16/06
LOL -that was great! Such drama and so real :)
Andre Kingston02/16/06
I was all built up for this huge something and it turned out to be a chocolate treat! How anti-climatic! lol. You had me going there.
James Clem 02/16/06
I'm betting she bought a 2nd one to keep for herself.
Linda Watson Owen02/16/06
Masterful build-up!! And a truly funny ending!!
Cheryl Harrison 02/16/06
From one chocoholic to another...brilliant my dear, just brilliant!
Amy Michelle Wiley 02/16/06
LOL! Good job. ;-)
Maxx .02/16/06
lol! Where's my piece? Great writing!
Debbie Sickler02/17/06
This was great! I was guessing what it would be, but was totally wrong of course. (I thought maybe it was a ceremony to get over a break up and she was going to smash a gift from her ex or something! WAY wrong! lol
I loved the chanting mixed with her one liners.

I did catch one typo though. You probably already caught it too, but just in case not: Three female VOICED raised in mocking harmony. I think you meant voices. :)

Regardless, this was dramatic the first time and a crack up the second time. Great job and please, do share. ;)
Lynda Lee Schab 02/17/06
Ha! I love this type of story - the one where I'm thrown completely offguard with a surprise ending. Too funny! great writing, as always. :-)
T. F. Chezum02/17/06
lol - that was good, creative.
Suzanne R02/18/06
And I love it too!!! Mmmmm ... my mouth is watering.
Marie Gabbard02/18/06
Awesome buildup to a chocolate obsession. Great read.