Despair and tears threatened at the unexpected news. How can this be Lord? Connie asked in her heart. Wayne had been through so much over this last year. The stage four neck and throat cancer had been aggressively treated. His body had survived a tortuous journey of surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, teeth-pulling, oxygen therapy and countless and endless trips to the University of Minnesota.
The wracking sickness that had enveloped him for months was just beginning to ease. There was even hope of removing the feeding tube as he valiantly struggled to swallow real food for the first time again. His new teeth looked so good and he was venturing back into the world as he slowly and surely gathered strength.
Connie looked at her husband of almost fifty years with tenderness. How different they were! She flowed through life with exuberance and excitement about God and friends and creative design. He, on the other hand, loved solitude and crossword puzzles, always searching for logic and indisputable answers to life’s biggest questions.
He surely didn’t understand her passionate love for Jesus. Oh, he read the Bible with her and asked questions and listened to her prayers. She had believed earnestly, knew in the depth of her soul, that Wayne would be healed. Her strength and trust over the last year had been unwavering.
“Oh Jesus”, she prayed in a whisper. “Let me trust you now too.”
The cancer was in his lungs.
“Jesus, help me understand why. How can I watch him suffer even more?”
Those tears now welled once again and spilled over onto her lap.
A verse came immediately to mind. “In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shail direct your path.” Proverbs 3:6 (NKJV)
As she surrendered to Him all that was in her heart, pictures arose one right after the other; images of the last year.
She pictured the whole family in waiting rooms and hospital rooms and the opportunities she had found to offer prayers.
A nurse stopping by to say she had heard the prayers.
The other wives in the oxygen waiting room as their husbands “went under” in their white robes to be consumed in the healing chamber. Yes that had been another opportunity to witness for Jesus.
And she was thankful for those who had lifted her up with prayer; the Bible study group and her prayer group. They held her up and kept her going through the year with the Word and hugs and yes, even laughter.
“Thank you Jesus,” she whispered. “Yes I can praise you today, even now.”
One last vision came upon her with such force, she fell to her knees.
Wayne in eternity, healed and whole. Maybe this news, this final earthly news would allow him to break through; break through logic to faith, from a search for solid answers to a belief in things unseen, a break from worry and despair to hope and peace.
On her knees in submission, he found her, this husband of almost fifty years. He knelt beside her.
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