The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/13/06
This article is too harsh. This article should be used on parents that have done child abuse and how their actions hurt children and others. I fliped when I first read this since I lost a child to death from a seizure disorder. I have a tender heart towards children.
02/15/06
I felt a mixture of emotions when I read this. Yes, it was a bit brash but that wasn't what struck me. I didn't think the details of the murder/suicide were that over-the-top. They brought up disturbing images but I think it fit with the piece. The ending of hitting the cat with a brass candlestick I thought was a bit much. I wanted to see more of how Jess was healing from the tragedy and would have liked the "accountability" aspect mentioned in the beginning to be explained further. Maybe that didn't have profound meaning at all but I looked for a link to it while I was reading. I think the reader would be able to sympathize more with your character if her emotions were shown more instead of just telling what happened. With some fine-tuning, this could be an interesting and powerful story.
Blessings, Lynda
02/17/06
Your title snagged me. I was drawn into your story, and then surprised by the plot of murder and suicide. I decided to keep reading to find out where you were going with it. Even though it was a disturbing story, you kept my attention all the way through. Unfortunately, I didn't understand the ending. God Bless and keep writing.