The Official Writing Challenge
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very interesting story. I do know that as Christians we sometimes treat the sinner as if he/she is 'sin' itself; we need to be reminded that the Lord does not view it like that.
02/14/06
Written as a modern parable!
02/14/06
A modern version of this story is a great idea! And you've done a good job at tackling a very sensitive issue. I would suggest tightening it up by skipping some of Jeremy's musings at the beginning and delving more into the scene at the coffee shop.
02/15/06
I have to disagree with the comment above...you had to have those musings. You had to because in those initial musings the Holy Spirit reminded me of my horror and disgust of homosexuality, and that was a very important moment because from there He led me to the ending of the story where I am reminded again of the unabashed, ever-restoring love of God. There is no "horrible sin" there is only "sin" and all deeply stain the soul. Thank you for a moment of meditation and enlightment with my Restorer.
02/16/06
I agree that the musings are a good setup for the rest of the story, but also that the coffee shop scene needs to be expanded. Unfortunately, here, you are limited to 750 words! Go for it, because we all need to remember that our "little" daily sins hurt our Lord just as badly as those lifestyle sins, and we all need to repent and be forgiven. A different title might be a better lead-in also, rather than laying out the plot up front.
02/16/06
I was right there with this piece the whole way, right up until they wlaked into the coffee shop. I just couldn't relate to the reception. It didn't ring real. Maybe it's because I was raised and lived in multi-cultural California but it felt forced. Getting past that, however, the rest of the piece was great. And the resolution was perfect. It srove home an excellent lesson that was made real for today.
02/17/06
I agree that this story felt a bit contrived. The parallels to the biblical story of Jesus defending the adulteress was obvious, but incomplete. In the bible, after Jesus challenged the would-be stone throwers, he also challenged the adulteress to "leave her life of sin". I would liked to have seen this important point made here as well in some way.

On the positive side, I think you did a great job of showing how we can all be ambassadors for Christ.
02/18/06
I also thought this piece was written very well. But I did feel that the message that came through was because God loves you, it doesn't matter that you're living life in sin. I know that wasn't your intention but I also feel, as the review above, that there should have been some admonition of the gay lifestyle. As Christians, we are commanded to love every person/sinner but are told to take a stand for what's right. But your story flowed well. These "Christian" boys were so wrong for casting stones & deserved to be put in their place.
You took on a tough subject and overall, I think the writing itself was excellent.
I think you let your readers into your character's thoughts just enough to let us see inside his heart, without crossing the line into offensiveness. The idea was great and I think you did imply that he would later be turning his heart over to God, which would result in a change in lifestyle. He had found the love he was searching for. Why would he continue searching in empty relationships?