The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/14/06
Oooh, I like this story. Good background music for it: The cat's in the cradle...
02/15/06
Well-written glimpses into this character's life. You've done a great job at making your point! My only suggestion is that you combine the first 2 lines into one paragraph so we know that the father is speaking both lines.
02/15/06
...Reminds me of the song,"American Dream" by Casting Crowns! I like this for the sincerity of it. There are too many out there working hard to please their fleshly desires bound to a yoke bore by their earthly fathers when the yoke of their heavenly Father is easy and His "burden is light."
Excellent writing & good message about finding balance in our work!